The power of the cleavage

This is a post my parents would not approve of – but they are not in this plane now.  This is also a post my sons wont approve of – but since I have a history of embarassing them, one more wont hurt them.  I told ya fellas, not to read Ma’s blog.  If you snoop, not my fault.

Women are getting thinner and thinner.  Soon we will be surrounded by girls who closely resemble – no, not their parents, but sketch pens.  I am a Punjaban who lives in Haryana and do like to see curvy women.  I strongly suspect that Kid#1 got floored by my DIL’s natural assets scintillating conversation and intelligence.  I do not understand this obsession for a size zero figure.  Being slim is good, being fit is excellent, but having mosquito bites for a chest is tragic.  Dont blame me, I have been watching Kareena Kapoor and other filmy types this weekend with my generously endowed BFF (best female friend), and we both agreed to the following

1. Men are necessary in one’s life

2. Getting men to behave like pussywhipped morons agree to you or jump when you want them to help you is tough.

3. The best option is to dazzle them with a cleavage show, and voila – problem solved.

When I was in college, I was terribly short of attendance, marriage and baby ensured that.  So I did what any girl in my situation would do – whine.  One of my best male friends was gay, and I am deeply indebted to him for my clothes sense and also for his ability to simplify the opposite sex for me.  Oh he also taught me to be feminine and not the tomboy I was born as.  He got tired of my whining and simply took me aside and tutored me on the womanly art of flirting.  Sebastian, my love, what you taught me has worked for me time and again.  It ranks way up there and is as useful as breathing.

Seb : Girl what you need is a padded push up bra and a low neck Tee

Me : Why

Seb : (with eye roll) You want attendance?

Me : Yeah, I need to pass otherwise my Dad will file case against hubby.  My kid will be having a jailbird for a father.

Seb : Why do you Literature types love drama so much?  Just do what I tell you. Duh!

Me : (doubtfully) Ohkay ….

Seb : What okay … lets go shopping

So we went shopping and picked up a orange Tshirt that my mother would’ve burnt and a black bra to wear under it.  Then he taught me the subtle art of bending just enough to show a bit of cleavage and bra while talking.  When he decided I had got the trick, we went to the attendance clerk, where I pleaded my case leaning over his desk, while Seb and two others added their words to my plea.  I got my attendance and I learnt a valuable lesson. 

I dont think Size zero babes can make such an impact.