Women and Compliments

What’s with us women? Why do we constantly need morale boosting, I wonder. Whether its a little girl of 7 years, a confident career woman at 30, or a mature woman at 50, we can never hear enough “I am proud of you” “You look beautiful in that” “Thank you for supporting me” “Thank you for taking care of me” “You are doing a great job”.

I was at a cousin’s house the other day. She has two children, a girl aged 10 and a boy about 4 years old. The girl was busy drawing something. During the course of the visit, she brought her drawing book to be admired. We praised her efforts. The little boy looked at her work and like all brothers laughed and rubbished her efforts. The poor thing had tears in her eyes, her world totally shattered. Angrily she said, “My drawing is good” which was replied with “No it isnt” It all degenerated into the classic “Yes it is” and “No it isnt” slanging match. Her father came in, was called to arbitrate, and said sweetly “Of course my love, your drawing is beautiful”. The smile on her face was ecstatic. Her father, the main man in her tiny life, had praised her efforts. She was in heaven!!!

My daughter in law will put on a dress and then spin and dance in the living room. While she is spinning she says “Look at me, isn’t my dress beautiful!” She is the classic independent, confident, grown up woman but there is a little girl deep down spinning around saying “Look at me, tell me I am beautiful”.

The men in our lives should know that they need to affirm and reassure their wives and daughters. If they don’t build their women up and make them feel safe, someone or something else will fill that hole. We dont want TV or a magazine telling us what is beautiful or trying to fill that hole. The longer we wait for the man in our lives to start telling us that we are precious to them, the longer it takes for us to be fulfilled. It is really our souls that have been poisoned with insecurity – for all our lives. Doubt and worry are our constant companions, “Am I good looking enough?”, “Do I look fat?”, “Am I a good cook/home-maker?” “Am I failing at work?” “Am I good mother?” “Am I a good wife?”

Hey men, whatever might be the response you get to your compliments, please please keep on at it. We need your encouragement to boost our morale.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Women and Compliments

  1. Perhaps Ritu. But why is it that the brother (even a much younger one) often can call the shots?

    I feel everyone likes to be admired. It’s just that men are conditioned by society to pretend that they do not. It has its own pluses and minuses. But what really is important is that there should be more civility in human relations.

    ‘Civility’, did I say????? Not exactly. “Civility” is a put on act – a societal demand. So are words like “respect”, “chivalry” and a host of other mouthfuls! Since I can’t find a better word, let me settle for “sensitivity” – however inadequate that word is to express what’s on my mind.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s