I dont wanna go to school

Me: Mom, I feel sick.
Her: (feeling my forehead) you don’t feel warm.
Me: Cough! Cough! Hack!!!!!! But, I’m sick! My Tummy Hurts!

Her : You don’t cough when your tummy hurts. Get dressed, you’re late

Okay agreed that was lame, it was actually lamer than lame!!!! Besides my mother was The Big Army Chief, and us mere underlings were the poor soldiers 😦

Jawaan, seedhe khade ho ATEEEENSHUN!!!

Ab basta pakadkar quick march karenge, left right left

And off to school we went. But I was persistent and tried again and again. I heard somewhere that putting a raw onion under your armpit works in raising your temperature. So I tried that. Verdict : Middling success. Make up works sometimes, u know kaajal under the eyes with foundation on the face. Warning!!!! Don’t rob mother’s pancake too often – you will get busted. Strategy can work, apply to Dad. Moms of this world cant be fooled easily. KETCHUP WITH HAMMING THAT YOU ARE DYING JUST DOES NOT WORK, NOT EVEN WITH DAD!!!!

My mother was simply not fooled easily. Unless you had over 101 temperature, 16 chicken pox on the body, a fracture or green snot oozing out of your nose, it did not work. My kids had it easy. When they came whining, trying their darnedest to look cute and sick at the same time, I’d look them in the eye and say “Negative marking for over-acting. Make me suffer more of that and it will come off your pocket money”, check if they had some test or something important at school and if not, they could stay home. Anyhow I was never obsessed with having over achievers.

I hate what schools are becoming now-a-days. “That place” has literally become a disturbing mediocre piece of crap that teaches to the tests and worries more about teaching our kids how to make friends and why it isn’t ok to be a bully. They rifle through the kids snacks to make sure they are healthy before they allow them to eat it, they even try to make us sign contracts every year promising to restrict tv viewing in our home to 1/2 hour a day, among other things. I always refused to sign, much to my boys’ embarrassment. Damn them for telling me how to raise my kids. They preach about why its not okay to bully and mug up, and then bully us and the kids to mug up.

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4 thoughts on “I dont wanna go to school

  1. oh boy ! ritu . your blog took me back to my school days ..my dad was such a hitler you know ..nothing cud make him understand the reason behind skipping school. we sure had tough time with him around …enjoyed reading this one …keep sharing

  2. Well Ritu! The onion in the armpit never did work for me!

    Loved this piece. And it meant so much more to me when I read it through the eyes of a teacher (not one of the kind you mention, though)

  3. oh you think thats bad? I hate my son’s school. they send a menu home – for the week – prepared by some fraud dietician. and then i have to cook that crap – kakori kebabs, pinwheel sandwiches, kabuli chana as pepared on ashtami (I’m a christian, I have no idea how you make chana on ashtami!) and much more.
    and oh wait – he is three years old. hates it all. refuses to eat it and comes home hungry and cranky.

    blech. will you move to delhi and open a sensible school that lets kids be?

  4. @The Mad Momma, I hear you. They have become so intrusive, it is shameful. I wish our system was more child friendly and had commonsense.

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