My elder son's wedding Part 4

GET ME TO THE MANDAP IN TIME

During the period between the Roka and the actual wedding both the boys wanted to know more about the rituals from all and sundry. I could not help much since I am (their words) irreverent, have a corny sense of humour and can not resist the temptation to exaggerate with the sole purpose of torturing my sons. So I smiled sweetly and told them weddings are womens’ things and they would be spared all the drama 😉

Poor Kid#1 – he fell for it.

By this time DIL and I had bonded extremely well. Nothing bonds women better than shopping for clothes and jewellery, I must say. I rang her up and related this entire conversation to her. We were in splits. Oh yes, another common ground for bonding is ganging up together on the poor man sandwiched between wife and mother. Deliciously wicked 😉

Kid#1 was being given much bhav by his in-laws. It reminded me of fattening of a calf before slaughter and I said so. Ouch!!! Sundry friends and relatives enlightened me that soon my son would change his loyalties etc. etc. Duh! I am the most un-maternal parent, and would love it if someone else took charge of my brats. Besides, he had been like an angry porcupine lately … what with all that shopping and other chores, that I was looking forward to handing him over, quills and all to his wife.

D.Day dawned and he got his first nasty surprise. We had the haldi ceremony. He had firmly told me that he would have none of that nonsense. DIL and I had sweet-talked him into agreeing to a small ritual. What he did not realize was that all his pals were waiting in the sidelines. As soon as he sat down, they pounced.

Second nasty surprise … I had called some beauty parlour guys home for the bridegroom. He looked at me totally baffled and said, “I am not getting all this shit done” I smiled sweetly, picked up my mobile and asked while punching the number “Should I tell DIL? She suggested that we do this.” Poor guy, he had just washed all that haldi stuff off himself and he got a face pack on. After the manicure and pedicure, the guy asked, “Sir, nail polish ka shade select karo” and Kid#1 turned purple as his eyes dared me to react.

Third nasty surprise …. The flower guys came to decorate the nuptial bed. I wisely disappeared at this point, and the various relatives had a field day pulling the groom’s leg. He refused to get the bed decorated, so a compromise was achieved. Just two huge flower arrangements in the bedroom – thank you so much.

Some of the ladies sweetly told him “Go to sleep beta, its going to be a long night”. I must say, no one but a Punjaban can deliver such a simple line with such a wicked punch. Kid#1 stomped off muttering huffily, “I feel like a pansy, I even smell like one! Gah! Even my room smells girlie” LOLL, Yeah kiddo, you better get used to it.

Fourth nasty surprise … he had put his foot down firmly …. no ghodi (horse). When we stepped out, there was this ghodi. I pacified him with the now standard plea, “Beta rituals etc etc and your FIL wanted you to at least sit on one for a photo”. He could have killed me then, but then who would do all the work? He climbed on sullenly for a few photos and got down and we left for the venue.

Fifth nasty surprise … another ghodi was waiting for him at the venue. He did not throw a tantrum there … all his lovely sister in laws were waiting inside the gate, smiling at him. He climbed on and we reached the gate with much fanfare. Phew!!!!

Once there, I escorted him to his throne …. and sat down to watch as the bride’s family took over. My baby, I had him to myself for 24 long years and I love him to bits. He looked so handsome. Good Luck, my little Prince – may you and your bride have a wonderful life together.

 

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18 thoughts on “My elder son's wedding Part 4

  1. Actually both of them were nearly 24 at that time (a yeah and a half ago) …. I agreed to the marriage with the condition – he goes abroad for a year of study, after the marriage 😉 I know I am the Evil Mother LOLLLL

    Thanks to her, he agreed

  2. 🙂 what i want to mention is that i love the bonding between u and ur dil… co amazing… i wish i had 50% of that with my mil but then the problem there is that she is extremely conservative for me and i am extremely modern for her… so there is a perpetual clash of ideas and thinking between us… we get along just well enough to stand each other in the same house… there is no problem in the relation but there what is a relation without any bonding…

    and poor ur son… i pity him 🙂 and how i agree with the statement “no one but a Punjaban can deliver such a simple line with such a wicked punch.” me and my hubby were a victim of it multiple times before our wedding and poor my husband who is a telgu guy was too didnt know how to react 😉

  3. LOLLL Punjabans, bless their earthy souls … they are too much!!!

    Monika, I guess things take time. I was lucky – DIL and I knew what to expect from each other

  4. Very well written, as usual 🙂 I too do remember refusing to go through some of the rituals, but then being coaxed by my mother 😀 Indeed, as someone above says, “the last line says it all”… 🙂

  5. Yeah Ravin, … and I do think rituals of weddings are designed with the sole purpose of having a laugh at the main participants.

  6. LOL[:)]…looks like a rollicking time was had by all…with some kodak moments captured for posterity!…..hey Ritu, would so love to see the one with the wine bottle to the lips!![;)]

    I look like a total bewdi 😉

  7. OMG Ritu, this series is side-splittingly hilarious! Poor poor kid #1. I’m sure his bride makes him feel it’s all been worth it, though.
    May he some day tell his children about the Wedding Pranksters – his mother and his wife!

    LOL, that is if we let him take it easy now. He actually is trying to rope in KId#2 to conspire on how to break this MIL+DIL team

  8. Oh 24?? Hmm… then its time I look out for the goofy smile on Son Senior’s face I guess! 😉

    Hehehe..I can so relate to: “Duh! I am the most un-maternal parent, and would love it if someone else took charge of my brats.”

    LOLLL, yeah. It is sheer relief to hand em over along with all their tantrums and messy habits

  9. I could somehow feel those emotions somewhere between the nasty surprises. But as already said, the last line says it all.

    Wonderful post. 🙂

    Thank you Nimisha

  10. I reached here accidently…but once started reading you,I feel You are the MIL that I would like to grow upto.I am the mother of a five year old boy right now.Loved the way u bought up ur kids and the bond that u hav with them.

    Roshni it takes two to make home a heaven or to turn it into a battleground … between DIL and I, mercifully, we have managed well – and its the third year of their marriage now

  11. Dear Ritu,

    I think you have a mind blowing post, I got here accidentally and got hooked on….just love the way you write….

    Thank you my dear

  12. And they will live happily ever after!!

    Nail Polish!!! That’s way too much!! U r wicked!

    I know! Wonder what he would have said if I suggested kinky red nail polish though?

  13. aaawwwww !!! fabulous, amongst all the comic one liners, the last line takes the cake and goes all fuzzy in the heart 🙂

    honestly, i wish i had a fun loving MIL like you !!! the child inside me has had to take a backseat, all my in laws r so serious all the time and overly practical !!!!!!

    Scary! I cant get serious and practical … it simply puts me to sleep 😛

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