I hear voices

Yeah, I shamelessly “got inspired” by the famous “I see dead people” line.

WARNING!!! THIS POST IS NOT FOR THE MEALY MOUTHED AND FAINT HEARTED

I love my children. I swear I do – even though I sometimes question my own sanity and also the wisdom of the three of us let loose on the world.  What was I thinking ?  Correction I wasn’t thinking, me and ex were making out like hot frisky bunnies – gotta love the teen harmones yeah!  In fact, when we declared our love to the world and families, when we got caught, my father nearly killed us both and demanded that we follow the following course of action

1. Stop seeing each other ….. we refused, the chemistry and lust were too strong

2. Pay more attention to our studies and none to ahem extra curricular activities …. are you kidding us? Impossible to do

3. (This was to me) Go abroad for my studies …. wiser and less angry people enlightened him to the total impossibility of his darling daughter walking the straight and narrow once she got on that airplane heh

4. Then he decided that we should get married (Yayyy, that meant PARTY to our raging harmones) with one condition – if I flunked or did not graduate, he would file charges against ex for getting his evil way with me (who was nearly 16 yrs old). 

Hunh???  That poor boy was only 19 any way, I guess both of us seduced each other …. But at that time, who cared.  We were getting married – which to our debauched minds equalled easy access to all sorts of activities that were more interesting than studies …..

Its another matter that I did study …. a lot, once the lust subsided

I really wasn’t thinking. 

Now the boys are 18 and 26 years old and their conversation is yuch!  I truly did spend a bomb on their education but ….

Kid#1 got his wings in Philippines and apparently they have a horrible graduation ceremony involving liquor and nudity.  They were discussing someone else’s graduation party

Kid#2 : Did that kid go naked under a sheet?

Me : Whaaaaat?

Kid#1 : Nah, that one’s a pussy

Me : Stepping right into it – I have blonde bimbette moments you see : This whole thing is a bit hard to swallow you know

Both of them : HA HA HA , no comments

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Kid#1 : Wanna go watch The Dark Knight?

Kid#2 : Yeah I love superhero movies.  I see them in my dreams

DIL : Which one

Kid#2 : Supergirl.  I dreamt that I was in Supergirl … drool

Kid#1 : Wear a bib kiddo, wear a bib ……………

Kid#2  : Where????

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Both boys are busy bashing each other up on the Xbox

DIL : Stop playing games and talk

Both boys : Give us 15 minutes

Half an hour later they are still at it

DIL : It is half an hour now …. stop it!!

Kid#1 : Blowing her a kiss : Yeah honey, just a min.

Kid#2 : (Taking advantage of the distraction) Gotcha!

and both of them getting busy on the game

Me butting in to pre-empt a big fight : You know, its family time.  Besides, you guys shouldnt play such violent games.

Kid#2 : Hahahaha Yeah we should play P O K E M O M

I flee

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I walk into the room, and there is a smell about it, look accusingly at Kid#2, the one who is normally the culprit

Me : Dude!

Kid#1 : Hahahahha

Kid#2 : With innocent smile : It wasnt me, swear.  Must be the dogs

Kid#1 : Rolling on the floor : hahahahaha

Kid#2 : Swear it wasnt me.  If it were me, I’d have been proud

Yeah we’re one helluva classy family

Shocked ya?

Remember you were warned in the beginning.

Also be glad, you aren’t related to them

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4 thoughts on “I hear voices

  1. trust me ,she aint overdoing it….u gotta experience it for urself to believe n ya’all..i have…..i love the crazy bunch

    Hi Maddy, glad you dropped by. I know my family insanity is hard to believe 😉 You tell ’em

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