In defense of profanity

I am a cusser

I can totally empathise with Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird when she asks her family to pass the damn ham at the dining table.  Even Pappu Cant Dance Saala makes sense to me.  When my sons started learning cuss words – I did not freak out, I just told them that cuss words were a part of language and expression, they just had to learn where to use the word for total and effective impact

My personal foray into the land of profane vocabulary started at the age of eight when I called my brother a ch#$%ya since he was being a pesky brat.  My mother had a meltdown.   I got spanked and then was hauled in front of my father – who explained to me that cursing shows lack of breeding and it also shows that the cusser does not have a good vocabulary.  I did not get it.  I’m like that heh.  It seemed to me that there was one hell of a lot of vocabulary in cuss words just waiting to be used.  But getting my backside paddled did breed discretion into me and cuss words got taken to the playground out of parental earshot.

I never ever heard my father use any cussword in his entire life – but we had servants with juicy vocabulary which was far more interesting than the refined language used at home.  And then there were those boys in the playground – with all their interesting words!!!!  Bhajji’s “Teri Maa Ki” sounds so natural.  My father got transferred all over the country and us kids got a Bharat Darshan sponsored by our government.  Every language spoken had its own charm and its own rustic cuss words – we siblings picked up so many of them and it became a game to see if we could slip one unawares in front of the parents.  If we succeeded, we earned mucho brownie points in the eye of the other!  If caught, we just faced the music and soldiered on.  Once (when I was an adult and mother of two kids) I was hopping mad at some one and said “Uski To” in front of my mother who promptly added “Bhagwan bhala kare” probably sensing a chance to save my soul from divine retribution.  In my totally fucking out of control  tame adolescence I think I made her angry many times and then she could come out with profanities that would absolutely dazzle me.  Oh wow! I remember thinking after one tirade from her, I never knew she had it in her.

My particular favorites are varied, depending upon the occaision, and I reject that cursing is a sign of inferior intellect.  I mean, anyone who can weave together such lowbrow expressions into something solid, descriptive, and artistic? Well that’s just amazing.  Suppose someone overtakes me on a busy highway from the wrong side, the satisfaction it gives my soul to brandish a finger and say “Saala bhe#$@d”, well that is Better Than Booze.  Slipping a “fuck” in, under the radar? Come on, people, that is the stuff of legend!

Someone once told me that I was a pain to deal with.  I smiled, put on my very upper crust convent educated accent and drawled “That’s a shame, you’re a pleasure.  Fuckuverymuch and have a wonderful day!”  I swear upon all that’s holy, communication does not GET any better than that.  Does it?

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16 thoughts on “In defense of profanity

  1. teh best come back line-
    the hero says- F&*k you
    and the heroine says- F&*k u back
    i think it was erin brockowich movie

    LOLLL I did that once – a guy said Fuck You and I said after looking him up and down “In your dreams Loser!” Heh I was so proud of myself 😀

  2. Hehehe, You are not alone.
    I used the ‘saala’ word a lot on the road and my daughter has to correct me, with that look – MAMMAAAA

    UFFF, that is like my DIL who says Fish for F@#k. Mujhe swaad hi nahin aata. I mean the gaali has to have impact you know

  3. Hey, you must have made a great mum. 🙂

    When I try to teach my friends’ kids, they get very upset with me…..and thus a very important part of the children’s education is left incomplete.

    Cheers,

    Quirky Indian
    http://quirkyindian.wordpress.com

    Quirky, teach your own – they will teach the rest of the gang LOL 😉

  4. ha ha ha i use them all the time and these days its hubby who keeps correcting me saying atleast dont use it front on the baby 🙂

    Mine learnt all of them from me (the Punjabi ones … the Manipuri …. the Naga … the UP ones) sigh! I am such a wicked mother – but I could not play the moral card since I used them so often mainly while cooking and driving. I told them to “practice what I preach not what I practice” and they laughed at me Humph

  5. Sometimes, there’s just no alternative to cursing! My only problem is why do all the cuss words have something to do with female anatomy or female relations (something as innocent sounding as “saala” is also a term used to refer to the wife’s brother).

    Yeah, there is that too – hangover from our feudal past, but calling someone bhai$#@d doesnt sound sufficiently derogatory – sigh!

  6. 🙂 you are fuckin good Ritz ..lolllll we should both take out a book of juicy curses …hahhahaa I have a book of insults ..it’s worth reading ..got two sons who update me on latest …great teachers these kids 😀
    As D i too wonder why only the female anatomy is used must think of some opposites also ..:d..you gave me some thing to ponder upon..

    Oh my personal favorites are the punjabi ones – they deliver a solid punch!

  7. Shock and Awe!!!!………..I must say. 🙂

    Indian variants are very colourful and very very graphic. The message is conveyed instantly and the impact is all the more visible.

    The deep sense of gratification after the volley has been fired is something to live for.

    Oh Mavin, I agree totally

  8. I grew up in a totally gaali-free house… MBA, then living in Dilli and all imbuesd in me the power of the gaali. So I still don’t say stuff out loud. But in private to everyone who pisses me off. The angrezi ones, F*** included, I use, rather openly. K had to shush me when I said i yesterday in front of Mum- fortunately the TV was on….

    LOLL the sense of satisfaction one gets after firing one volley …. total bliss

  9. aah…the fine art of cussing! I learnt my first swear word when i was two. Was eavesdropping on my dad! 😀 😀
    Ma wasn’t happy because a) she couldn’t figure out what i was saying b) i looked cute while saying it! she laughed for the first 10 minutes thinking i was mispronouncing some cutesy word!

    Hehehehe I wonder what happened when she realised what you had said

    There was this time when I was driving to college and this dude bumped into my car, Dhanno (mrooti 800!) Meri dhanno ki izzat par hamla and i showed him the finger. the guy at the next red light asked me what it meant! It so cracked me up!!! He didn’t know! Read the story here!
    http://advitiya.blogspot.com/2006/09/road-rage-chauvinism-and-me.html

    LOLL This cracked me up

    I always dream of having this huge amplifier thingy installed in my car… Imagine a cop car cuts my way and my melodious voice rings out, saale be*&%(d!!!

    What fun!

    Awesome, manufacture them in bulk – you’ll make millions!

  10. She gave dad the evil eye for two whole days, thrashed the living hell outta me and apologized over & over again to the guests who I had ‘innocently’ cussed!
    😀

    That’s actually not a bad idea… It can be a new Get rich quick scheme not involving death by poisoning!

    Yeah, healthier for you too – you’ll get to enjoy the millions hehehe 😀

  11. well i am also too much in the habit of using every kind of profanity in the lang… but i my sister.. the eldest one… she is one of her kind… i learned from her cursing while driving… n that is the best time to say wtever u wanna say to the fellow drivers, passerby’s, the RADHEE walas… n even to the non-living things like signals, neon-signs and unwanted things beside the road side….lol
    but one thing that i love what she says is “Kutti” [english counter-part=BITCH]… its not THAT profoundly profane but it sure does a lot to calm u down and can be used at most of the places… =)

    I agree, cursing is therapeutic

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