Bigamy … my thoughts

The Maharastra Government gave its green signal to amend Section 125 of Criminal Procedure Code (CrPC) which seeks to protect the pecuniary interests of the ‘other woman’. However, it would need the Centre’s stamp of approval to become a law. Live in relations will finally become legal in India and wives out of wedlock will become “heirs” along with their children. The caste and dowry system will vanish for ever. Education system of filling up of forms will change as well. Questions wherein one had to fill in the father’s name now will have just the guardian’s name. The sacrament of marriage will become inconsequential as it is made null and void by the court of India.

A relative sent this rather hysterical exerpt to me, apparently its on a blog somewhere.  Yeah I know what bigamy means, and I know this legislation is making people, specially wives insecure.  At the very outset, before I start getting hate mail, let me tell you that my sons and I know exactly what the consequences of “other women” and “other wives” is.  We have seen it up close and personal, and suffered it.

But puhlees consider …. does it make any effin’ difference?  

Sociologists and anthropologists tell us that men are polygamous by nature.  They cant help it.

The reasons for such behaviour are creative to say the least.

Some of them “fall in love” with another woman and cant let go of their wives.  

Some men think that the more women they have slept with, the more “face’ they have.  Its a self esteem thing.  

Some “sexy sirens” are so manipulative that they ensnare the poor dear with their charms.  

Some other “main bechari” types need the dashing man’s protection.  It is chivalry, you see, they have to take care of this poor lonely female.  

Some men think that since they are successful and rich, they “can afford” two or more wives and families.  They also give examples of the kings of yester-years and say, we can afford it.

So people, specially wives, freak on, rave and rant – it isn’t going to make an effin’ difference.  This world will continue to spin on its slightly tilted axis, and never mind if a few families get derailed in the process.

I do not think bigamy per se is evil.  If both the wives know and accept this situation, it is absolutely okay.  The man is legally and morally bound to provide for both the ladies and all his children.  Of course, the man deserves it.

He deserves the freakingly high phone bills

He deserves the living and housing expenses, specially the utility bills

He deserves the college expenses

He deserves to be yelled at by both his wives (preferably simultaneously with stereophonic sound effects)

He deserves the politics that arise out of two women competing to outdo each other

He deserves to sleep on the couch twice as much since both of them have a headache

Most of all, he deserves to have two mother-in-laws.

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17 thoughts on “Bigamy … my thoughts

  1. Loved your post! Truly, most men have a hard time catering to one wife, how will they manage two? LOL

    In my opinion, laws mean nothing in matters of person relationships. It is how people feel and behave that counts. But if this change in law makes it easier for the innocent children of the 2nd ‘wife’ to get their share, I’m all for it.:)

    Oh absolutely, I am all for honesty in relationships – and for men to take responsibility for the consequences

  2. Here is my contribution to the Yagya:
    Oh yes, this kind of a man deserves being hit too, with chappals- by both the wives.

    LOLLLLL, sar kayam rakhe, chappal toh padhegi hee 😛

  3. That’s getting back at the men with a vengeance 😀

    But seriously, I still cannot fathom how the kinds of yesteryears managed to have a palace full of wives! The impracticality of the situation is mind boggling: how did the ranis get along with each other, how did the king divide his time between his wives, did he get gifts for all of them at the same time or by turns… Basically, I don’t get polygamy at all!

    I think its masochism, not polygamy, and a lot of men do practice it even now, on the sly – wives in different towns, some PYT tucked in somewhere discretely. I am all for bringing it out in the open, declaring it to the world ….. and then, hehehhehe LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

  4. …chances are he barely provides for them, and the guys who cheat women like this are not always rich. He might be a miser, or violent…we have a law protecting live in partners from violence.
    And don’t forget, if he decides to have a second ‘wife’ in middle age, he is taking something from the family’s investment to provide for this new love interest, so he is not the only one to pay for his mistakes, the whole family is.

    I have paid the price – which is freakingly high! It was at 30 with two small sons, when my little tragedy took place…. which is middle age I guess – but dammit it does not make any difference in this world – so lets have it out in the open, so that he pays for it

  5. Hehehehehe
    He deserves two mother-in-laws!

    I think men are born with low self esteem. Polygamy is just a ruse…they just want to be sure that they are something to us.

    But if, the man is allowed two wives, I’d advise the wives to get another man on the side. Who knows, one day what if he has the iffing headache??!!

    Yeah – another man is advisable. What do you know the fragile male ego might manifest in a “no rising to the occasion” situation. Tragic

  6. OMG…….Fear of hell put in the male with raging hormones. Surging libido doused by a torrent of law and abuse.

    No free rides / hikes…anymore.

    Gotta pay thru your ……. at more than one counter.

    The Promiscuous Male – Watch out….Boobit was not the only threat…..:-)

    LOLLL Sorry boys, party’s over

  7. Why do i sense some amount of bias in this one and especially in the comments thereon. WHich is not to say that men are not polygamous but then in a world scenario so are many women. Why do we always judge everything by our standards when most of our population men and women included go the grave without ever learning to do the act properly. What bout the rest of the world where at 16 sorry at 14 nowadays you have to have a bf or gf as the case may be. So sexual promiscusity is not the issue here bigamy is. So if men are so sexcited sorry to use that phrase then surely there would be some other reasons for him to stick on to this other woman besides the act itself. is it then a compatibility issue or simple dearth of getting it anywhere else xcept the new one or not getting it at home. A physical incompatibility is an issue unheard of in india and mere mentionwould draw a lot of flak. But think about it more often than not its arranged marriage so that aspect is quite questionable and may be it just doesnt gel. Well am confused now. hope you bring clarity and comment without any bias. but bigamy is bad real bad for the family is what i agree upon.

    Viscount, I do not object to bigamy at all. Heck, if you want double helpings, pay for it. I object to lies and cheating. If all the parties affected know and agree – some kind of a balance can be maintained, and no one is exploited. Its not a male vs female thing at all

  8. And who is to blame? After all, the other woman is a “woman”… I guess what we see in the open, always existed, its just coming to the fore and maybe some me these things like living in relationships will become fashionable. Its normally the women who suffer, whether its the wife or the other woman. Sad.

    I agree, to a point. I think its the man who gets royally fu$#$d trying to maintain a balance – and he does not even have approval from family or society. The women have their kids and the whole world with them in such cases

  9. there had to be difference between animals and humans… bi-tri and polygamies is typical of an animal instinct… since it has been millineas that man has been learning, so now its his duty to get diffrentiated from animals… damnit! atleast in one aspect…

    Such a lovely hope ….

  10. This is my understanding of the amendment in Section 125 of CrPC .It is not about live-in relationships, as the media has been saying. Neither does it change the status of couples in live-in relationships.
    In rural areas often a man marries another woman despite the first wife being alive for reasons such as the first one has not borne a child.After some years, the husband throws out the second wife, saying he is already married and the other woman is not his legally wedded wife.It was to protect such women the amendment was introduced.

    Under the current CrPC provisions, an ‘illegitimate’ child is entitled to get maintenance from father. But the illegitimate wife does not get anything, but the boot.
    The situation, under the present law, benefitted the husbands all the way.
    Of course if this should become a law it can be misused by both men and women-
    men facing turbulent marriages or fighting divorce cases can now simply ignore these impediments and get on in life with the ‘other woman’, who will be accorded legal status.

    Women too could misuse this law (once it is passed)

    I am very democratic. I would like benefits for both the sexes. If men can misuse, we should get a shot at it too

  11. U have a golden heart and a very practical one too.

    you are right legislations dont make any difference ….either a relationship is strong enough or it simply isnt…and people will take all kinds of decisions.

    I know a woman who inspite of well knowing that her husband has a second family continues to stay with him because she cant imagine a life less priveleged though her own family is willing to do their best by her. (her husband is a rich man her father an ordinary middle class fellow).

    If the legislation protects the rights of the children of all these women…whats wrong in that? Since they surely didnt have any say in the matter of their parents union.

    I agree totally

  12. I’m really sorry, but I don’t feel the other woman or the man should be given any credit or financial benefit. The same applies for the woman having a relationship with another man. Men are naturally polygamous: I’ll take issue with that statement. Some of us just want to be happy with whoever we love, that’s all. We’ll have romantic doubt and we might question it, but whoever we are- men or women- after all the sex, its the intimacy which lasts. True, bigamists deserve all that they get. I just feel its somehow wrong for an adulterer and his/her companion to get legal recognition.

    • Hey O.C., idealism is very nice, but has little currency in the practical world where such things exist. The truth is that men are polygamous, my ex had another lady tucked away somewhere …. it happens. I was devastated when I found out. I am all for open-ness and honesty. That way the adulterer does not get off lightly, and the women in the sordid triangle do not suffer.

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