Proof that I have way too much time on my hands

A proverb, from the Latin proverbium, also called a byword or a nayword, is a simple and concrete saying popularly known and repeated, which expresses a truth based on common sense. Source Wikipedia

While some proverbs rock, others clearly need to be discarded, and some need a fresh coat of paint.  Let me explain :

  • Hunger is the best cook …. not really.  A person who is hungry is more likely to slap some stuff on bread and wolf it down with a soda or juice….. or eat some fast food.
  • What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander ……. unless one of them has some kind of an allergy to the sauce.  Then we could change it to sauce for the goose is poison for the gander
  • Practise makes you perfect – now this is bullshit.  In my experience Practise makes you careless
  • A woman’s place is in the home.  Any practical man will know from experience that he will get no dinner and will probably have to sleep on the couch for a long long time if he said that to his wife.
  • Absence makes the heart go fonder – not really.  Absence makes the heart go wander.
  • Appearances are deceptive.   I dont think so – unless you are a bad judge of the human race.  First impressions are 80% bang on target.
  • Bad news travels fast.  Dudes, any news in this day and age travels fast.
  • Business before pleasure.  Why? I’d rather combine both.
  • Christmas(Diwali) comes once a year.  Sigh!!!  Tell that to my kids.  They think its every day.
  • Crime does not pay.  That is such a bigggg lie.  It does …… in crores.
  • Turn the other cheek.  To any one who believes that I will just say SUCKER!!!!
  • Early to bed, early to rise ……….. makes me tired, sleepy and out of touch with television and the world
  • Money is the root of evil.  Why?  Money is good and buys you happiness and security.  I think greed is the root of evil.  Money gets bad press.
  • Advice is cheap.  I know rich consultants, I am sure they get huge money for their advice
  • Too many cooks spoil the broth = Can be changed to – Too many clicks spoil the browser
I have read some good ones forwarded by friends or on the net.  I do not know where to give credit but am adding some of them to this blog
  • Men are from earth, so are women.  Deal with it.
  • Eat well, stay fit, die anyway
  • I was born intelligent.  Education ruined me.
  • A clear conscience usually means a bad memory
  • Artificial Intelligence is no match for human stupidity
  • Age is a very high price to pay for maturity
  • If at first you dont succeed, get new batteries
  • A penny saved is not much
  • Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your own nose
  • When the blind lead the blind, get out of the way
  • A bird in your hand … is going to poop
  • Better late than pregnant

13 thoughts on “Proof that I have way too much time on my hands

  1. good ones ritu, you sure are putting all that spare time to good use!! keep them coming and get well soon 😀

    This is better than watching Karzzzzzzzzz. More healthy 😀

  2. I laughed at/with/on every single sentence you wrote.
    Thank you.
    It shows that time off from office means Ritu is getting more and more creative.

    Thank you Manpreet 😀

  3. lol!!! i think i am looking forward to ur retirement now 🙂

    I think I will compile a book of all these and publish it …. after retirement : titled PhoenixRitu Says …., should do as well as Confucius Says

  4. The first and the absolute last one are so so so true! When I make a sandwich when I’m hungry I feel as successful as Sanjeev Kapoor!! 🙂

    Brilliant list!

    Thank you

  5. I thought you were into “fantasy” writing 😉 A pity I did not come across any. But i guess that’s what makes for fantasy 😉
    You do write well 🙂 There is clarity of thought.

    Thank you. Compliment from a journo wow! 😛

  6. It IS true that bad news travels fast. Douglas Adams (in Hitchhiker’s Guide) proposed space ships powered by bad news. They traveled faster than light.

    But they were not welcome anywhere 😦

    LOL obviously they were not welcome

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