Alternate Sexuality

So Karan Johar has come out …. or rather as out as he dares to, without jeopardising his stake at the Box Office.  He shows two guys pretending to be gay to get themselves an apartment and also to be close to a girl.  Yes its Dostana I am talking about.  My family saw it, and told me the gist of the story.  Well, in my opinion all the men shown by Johar in his movies are gay pretending to be straight anyway.  I also think Shah Rukh Khan is bisexual – as per his body language.  Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam was all about Shah Rukh and Hritik and Kal Ho Na Ho was all about Saif and Shah Rukh.  The girls were incidental.

It got me thinking, is it a trend or something?  Fashion with all its gay designers, and now Dostana.  Has the time come for gay visibility?  Is India finally getting mature and comfortable with alternate sexuality?

Gay people are normal and real.  They are not sleazy sex manaics ready to grope any good looking butt.  They might look appreciatively, but there is no harm in that.

For me the main stream masala film that worked in depicting gay people was Honey Moon Travels, in which the NRI played by Vikram Chatwal and the small town groom played by Karan Khanna come to terms with their sexuality.  The NRI knows he is gay, and that he has decieved his wife by not telling her about this crucial fact …. and he confesses and tries to make amends.  Karan Khanna’s character does not even know about himself.  He is totally bewildered by the emotions awakened in him by this NRI.  He probably does not even understand the concept of being gay.  Both of them are good decent guys, they want to be good husbands to their wives.  The way the small town groom tries to rationalise and understand his attraction for the NRI really touched my heart. 

I know I am not very tolerant.  I guess I am deeply thankful that my sons are heterosexual and do not have to face a hostile society and I will not have to watch them get ostracised and hurt.  Homosexuals have the same needs, wants as heterosexuals, and do need to be given space and respect for their choices.  They dont need to be laughed at and be at the recieving end of Kantabai jokes.


14 thoughts on “Alternate Sexuality

  1. You’ve hit on the very thing we’re all aware of but rarely man enough to talk about. It’s easy to be tolerant when issues like homosexuality are at a comfortable distance. But how would I react if it was someone close to me? I honestly don’t know.

    But as for KJo… puh-leez! Who hadn’t guessed by now I ask you!

    Yeah every one knows he is gay. I know how I would react – and am ashamed of it 😦

  2. Umm… had a long think about this one. Realized that if it was someone very close to me, I’d probably be very very shocked if I hadn’t guessed. Make that shocked that I hadn’t guessed. And if they’re not that close… it doesn’t matter to me, does it now?

    That is exactly my point. It is damn easy to be tolerant if it is a casual acquaintance. Sad

  3. I dont think I would have any problems with any of my friends being gay. Just as it is none of any one else’s business what I do in my life, it is none of my business to decide my like or dislike on the basis of his/her sexual orientation. Those who are gay, I wish them be gay in the sense of happy too.
    Yes, cinema is taking a liberal stance on the issue and slowly it will start reflecting tolerance in the society too.
    Good Post.

    Suppose it was a family member Manpreet, then?

  4. Well I guess no comments coz already has been said enough… its a time for introspection not talking… I have to ask myself “Am I ready to accept it [if someone close to me comes out of the closet]?”…

    Are you strong enough Afaque? It would kill me watching the pain of someone I loved

  5. When they were younger, my kids said while doing old English Poetry in school whenever they read “Happy and gay”, Merry and gay”, “Gay coloured …”, “Nodding Gaily in the breeze…” there was a wave of suppressed giggling and nudges 🙂

    I know, words change meaning and acquire weird connotations.

    I think I won’t be shocked with anyone except my own kids, and then it would be less about being tolerant more out of concern because even today life isn’t easy for homosexuals.

    One of Kid#1’s friends is homosexual. Life is so tough for him. My heart goes out to that brave man. I really dont want any parent to have to stand by and watch their children suffer every day

  6. I do not think we can make a difference to the society if we say “anyone but my sons ” .what kind of Tolerance is this Ritu?I know I won’t mind if any of my son’s was a guy what’s wrong in being a homosexual is not easy for them coz of people who do not accept them.If you want change it shud start from home .we are all born humans .each to himself .It is time we made life easy for them ..everyone ..gays ,lesbians,and stopped crackin jokes on them.we have a long way to go and we better start quick .

    I hate the Kantabehn type of jokes. I think sexuality is a personal choice. I dont ostracise gay people. But somehow I cant step beyond that. I know – my tolerance is not much

  7. This happens to be the third review of the film’s depiction of gays on the blogosphere that I’ve read today. And everyone agrees that the film does nothing for gay rights.

    It just cashes in on the gay trend, that is all. KJo should have done more

  8. as i have me mentioned before to u i do someone close who i bisexual… i was shocked intially when i got to know but now i am fine its only the worry that how will they deal with the world that kills u….


    as far as bollywood is concerned… personally if u ask me i hate it they way the portraying the gays… they are cashing on the wave… almost 90% of the times they are portrayed as pancy people though they are not…they are just people like u and me with different sexual preferences… ya there are slight differences in their day to day behavior but not as drastic as waving the hand everytime they talk I somewhere think that they have made them a laughing matter…. tell me truly what does most of the people do when u say gay… wave their hand in that funny way… and that is all but created out of bollywood….

    Their body language differs – but show biz exaggerates it

    all said and done there are some movies which have done a great job… Honeymoon travels is one… and then Fire which dealt with lesbians is another… what we need are more realistic takes on the subject so their acceptance in the society becomes easier and not a joke

    PS: sorry for a mini post in ur comment section

    I agree totally with you on the above. Dont apologise, its a great mini-post 😛

  9. I somehow still can’t understand homosexuality as the work of a normal brain, sorry 🙂

    Ravin, Oh my God – it is normal and it is historically recorded as an alternate choice! Alexander was gay and so were many other people, Socrates, Lord Byron, Frederick the Great (Prussian King), Richard the Lionheart, Oscar Wilde, Michelangelo, Da Vinci, even J Edgar Hoover. The list is endless

  10. I guess its time… And about time too!
    I gave up on Kjo movies long long long back. The only reason why I might want to see this that it does have abs & john shaking booty more than once. A girl is allowed her lil moments!

    Am with you totally on that John droooooooooooooool

    I saw Golmaal Returns… insanely mindlessly phunnee 🙂

    LOL, I know

    PS-Totally with you on for gay rights! They do not deserve kantabai jokes at all!

    Yeah, poor things – they are already so defensive

  11. I had a gay friend in college. he was very popular since he had amazing dress sense and all the girls wanted him to go shopping with them.

    So did I, he was responsible for whatever ladylike wiles I have – was such a tomboy before he took me under his wing.

  12. Sorry that got posted before I had finished with it… My daughter studied in an all woman’s college in the States where quite a few of the girls experimented with homosexuality and some of them turned bi.Her closest friend, an Indian girl, in fact turned bi and her mother told her to shape up or ship out…
    I wondered how i wld have felt if my daughter turned gay…
    i Know i would have felt sorry for all the pain that she wld have to go thru,but I would support her 100%.My hubby wouldnt even consider it hypothetically.

    Yeah, I would support … but later. I think I would first throw a Queen sized hysterical fit.

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