The mad mad world of Punjabi weddings

I have been out of town for the last few days attending a wedding in the family.  I had a wonderful time meeting cousins, countless nieces and nephews and of course over-loading on food and booze.  I tell ya, no one does it as flaboyantly as the north indians.

Boisterous beats of dholki

Sounds of women singing Shava Shadak Teri Bodhi mere hath

(A folk song telling the tale of a couple getting physical while fighting)

A bevvy of nubile PYTs dancing to the song

A few young guys drowning their frustrations in glasses of whisky

When I asked them “Abby Oye, why such long faces, any longer, you would be cows”

The poor boys replied

“Dammit, any wedding we go to, the prettiest gals are our cousins …. I tell ya Bhua, we are the most unlucky dudes in town!”

Now that is a unique problem   😀

I sat with them and sympathised with their bad luck for a while.  The dholki was abandoned for the DJ playing Emosanal Attyachar ………

How apt!

I suddenly had a brainwave.  Hmmm Bacardi is known to get the brain cells jump start at crucial moments

Phoenixritu spake  “Guys, view point change karo.  Dont go for pretty, go for earthy, sexy and hot!  Forget Katrina and Juhi, go for Sameera, Shamita, Malaika types.  Sex up your lives, kiddos.  Add some excitement”

My bacardi was over.  There was silence on the table.  I think I did good there

LOL

Wonder if they’ll bring a sizzler home?????

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23 thoughts on “The mad mad world of Punjabi weddings

  1. That is awesome… I wonder whether such females will be there amongst Punjabi crowds.

    Most of the Punjabi women I have seen are fair and pretty. So maybe they should start looking down south 🙂

    Ahhh anywhere they fancy! We need to spice up things in the family!

  2. Hehehehehehehehe…. One cool aunt you are! I have 4 bhuas and the second one has gone off her rocker completely. Every time she sees me, she insists I’ve grown taller and fatter and I should ‘be ready’ (read married) to have kids before I get too old!

    And every time I tell her that I’ve already had two nervous breakdowns because of the last time my periods didn’t happen after a steamy orgy with 4 forty year old men! And if it would please her so, I would gladly forgo the protection next time.

    She hyperventilates till the next meeting and promptly says the same thing again and which of course is followed by the same reply. Sometimes I add in women to the orgy also. The colour of her face is a lovely something I’ve never been able to place! 🙂

    You know these haw pata hai types have had no fun in life? They’re just envious! I am a great advocate for sinning at the right time and place ….. scratch that, wrong time and place will do nicely too

  3. ROFL…I am sure that those guys got kicked off by your advice..lol..They would have never expected this..Keep up the spirit Ritu,this is what makes you special 🙂
    Oh they expect precisely that of me. I am infamous!

    Have been reading every post,but got lazy to fill up 3 entries…You are one of the most amazing women I met 🙂 Have a great day..

    Thank you!

  4. but i love Punjabi weddings. In fact i love Punjabis! they are so jolly, not like borrrrring Tam-brahms. you know how boring Tam-brahm weddings are? and the worst part is i dont even get to meet any guy of my age! it always turns out like this: myself dressed like an oversized doll recieving compliments from uncles and aunties and getting damn bored!

    The Big Fat Punjabi Wedding works because every one is out to have fun. Tam Brahms have a solemn affair.

  5. hahah u’re awesome

    this reminded me of my wedding. my in-laws being ur typical southies were shocked at us punjus jumping high enough to touch the roof almost. ah weddings are awesome!!! :)))

    Yeah they are …….

  6. omg ofcourse this is v rituesque..but i envy the punjus their flamboyance..this amd mad wrld is surely a feast for me …in the NE weddings ..funerals are all the same ,so colourless…and southy weddings are sombre,o – so- pious,full of rules on wat traditions dictate….thsi letting loose is all so new to me..Bacardi in awedding swouthy one? i cant even dare to fantasize….i mean a brahmin iyer one ofcourse….slurp …will miss out on all the weddings by the time i get bk..bhagwan sojaate hain…its nice to hv a mix grill in life..im v proud of being a southy..but y cant they ever let loose…

    No my dear, your side of the country is noble and solemn! It scares me!!

  7. and ya most important of all hw do I solve the problem of Ritu…when she come to attend my sons Tam bram wedding????????need to start working on her ppl…

    No problem dahlin’, I am known to be easy to please. Just give me a Pepsi …. with a tadka of something stronger and I am happy, and it wont freak any one out
    😉

  8. hmm, brought back niiiice memories! I was trying counseling some dudes who are supposed to be “devars” of various ages… and one went pop: “are YOU free by any chance”!!!

    Oh I always reply “Of course I am, but the point is will you ever live to tell the tale ……”, and it sets them thinking. Thinking is bad for the libido, yes it is

    😉

  9. Are the aunties still inviting you over to these weddings to mix up with the younger lot??

    Heh, they have too – part of the clan etc etc. Can’t say they approve …..

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