Jai Jai Shiv Shankar

HOLI HAI!!

There are so many kinds of Holi revellers:

1.  SPORTS ENTHUSIASTIC HOLI REVELLER

The first is the kind that gets gujiya, water guns, water balloons, gulal, permanent color into place a few days before the event.  Then he gets his Bahadur, kids etc to join in filling the water balloons the night before D-Day , stored in a huge plastic tub at vantage point.  Talk about preparedness.  Such a reveller also has attack points, back-up points etc charted out a few days prior to D-Day.  Commonly found on the terrace, scouting possible victims.

2. GULAL KI TILAK (SIMPLE COLOR POWDER) HOLI REVELLER

These guys dress up in the cleanest of clothes, meet up with like minded Holi celebrators in the colony park where they put gulal politely on each other, feast on garma garam chai and pakoda while telling their enthusiastic kids “No beta, don’t play with water”.  Yours truly belongs to this category.  Commonly found in – yeah you got it – the colony park with a cup of tea.

3. NATURE ENTHUSIASTIC HOLI REVELLER

Chandan tika boxes, herbal colours etc.  I even met one who insisted on spraying ittar on me.  Very classy, very expensive – and to my middle class brain – very pretentious.  Commonly found in the rarified locality of the super rich and the arty types.

4. GANDI VAALI HOLI REVELLERS : THOSE THAT PLAY DIRTY

Kid #2 is proud member of this fraternity.  These guys buy the most pakka (permanent) colours, actually buy cartons of rotten tomatoes, trays of eggs and a pichkari to fill water balloons.  This is arsenal and they are going to war.  One car is converted into the war car, seats and other sensitive to color stuff is covered with polythene sheets and padded with towels.  The boot has buckets full of the water balloons, the car is loaded with all the ammo and with sufficient dhin chak music (This year it was Lucky Oye, Rock On, Emosanal Attyachar and the likes) that blare their evil intent, they sail forth looking for like minded warring opponents.  The fond parent gets a shock sometime at 4 pm when “Maa Ka Laadla” comes back with black, blue, purple and metallic blonde permanent colours painted all over him and stinking of rotten egg.  I always try to convince myself that the egg and tomato must be doing some good to his skin.  Commonly found in – the car of course.

5. LET US DISAPPEAR ON HOLI TYPES

My Kid#1 is a former No. 4 type fella who has now joined this fraternity in his old age (:D).  For the past 3 years, he stocks enough booze and snacks and he and his wife simply disappear for the rest of the world.  I am instructed to tell any one that they have gone out of town, on the strict warning that they will not allow me any food or booze if I tell on them.  “I my wife and my dogs do not play Holi” he told me in that oh so superior way.  Wrong thing to do!  I kept wondering “What if I told people they were hiding inside????”  It is too tempting LOL.  Commonly found in front of the TV holding hands sipping wine.

Of course how can one not write about Bhang???  Holi means Bhang right?  I mean what kind of barbarian does not know of the close connection between the two?  Holi is spring and fertility.  In fact the first colours were made with flowers and pollen.  So for any kind of great “fertility rites” to happen you need to lose inhibitions.  Any way, people were exhausted after the harvest … and needed a high to get going I guess.

I would like to have the bhang shardai, but Kid#1 plays spoil sport.  Sigh!  Just had it once in my life.  Man, I was in a trance after that.  Quite unsurprising that its known as Shiv ji’s prasad.  The damn thing takes you to alpha state without much effort!

Next Holi, I am gonna beg plead with every one who does not know Kid#1 to please gimme some.

Advertisements

16 thoughts on “Jai Jai Shiv Shankar

  1. I belong to the very first category. Everything is planned two weeks before. The arsenal is kept safely on the terrace, water balloons are filled up the night before, and we (I mean, me and my friends) go on the attacking mode first thing in the morning. 😀
    Want to talk about Lohri? I save moongphali ke chilke throughout the winter, to be burned on January the 13th. Talk of preparedness!
    And with this, even I became the first person to comment on your post. Yay!!

    Awesome Rajat. Never knew Lohri needed preparation too. Congrats on being the first 😀

  2. oh i am a former no 5 converted into a mix 1 and 2 now 🙂 🙂 play with friends only… but play with gulal and lots of water, gujiya and lots of booze 😉

    have been wanting to try bhang for the past 5 years but doenst happen somehow…

    lets do a blog meet next holi… get smashed in colors and high by bhang

    what say?

    Yeahhhh! Lets have a bhangoli

  3. I am a former no. 4 getting converted to 5 , as they say you gotta be ‘mature’, you’re out of college now!!

    Who knows maybe next yr. wid my colg buddies i will revert :))

    really nice blog!!!

    Welcome to my blog Rahul. Tell you something – maturity is over-rated. The truly mature never get any fun.

  4. I know type 1,2,3,4 and 5..younger bro belongs to type 4..I and family used to belong to 2 and knew people from 3 now *shudder* all the categories seem scary 😀
    LOL@fertility rites 😀
    have to try bhang sometime

    It is a good experience 😛

  5. I belong to the category 5. I won’t dare to get out of the house during Holi. Particularly because the folks here belong to category 4.

    Try it once – its fun

  6. I belong to number 1, (maybe borderline number 4.
    Haven’t tried rotten eggs).
    Hard to get off colour, varnish, ink, haldi, cold water dips …and bhang (but very dilute, nothing happened)

    🙂 And blaring music, though never used the car for the purpose..
    I love Holi!

    I actually stock up on Kerosene a week before Holi … for Kid#2’s after Holi bath

  7. Ritu, there’s one more type — #6, those who wanna really really really play holi, who will settle for any of the 1-4 types, but don’t have access to it/no one to play with… *sigh*

    I feel for you Snow

  8. There are rascal holi player types tooo !!!

    Dhuleti was over, it was Rang Panchmi, you are going to mumbai… you are bored sitting in the train you decide to go and stand at the door… suddenly near ujjain a group of men with buckets full of colour filled balloon… decide to pelt the whole train.. and you find your clothes all coloured… my favourite trouser… !! all gone..

    than you find your sweatleather cream coloured shoes have got some colour and your to receive a delegate from turkey at 8 am next day morning so you have to wear the same darn shoes as no shop will be open to buy new ones !!!

    now you tell me to appreciate holi and how ??

    OOPS! But what the hell! Holi Hai 😛

  9. There is another type who are not really interested in “painting” per se, but don’t mind in getting painted 😉 they are there for the booze and the feast (yes, thats me) 😀

    Major foodie arent you Ravin 😛

  10. I remember getting bhang waala concentrate to the house once.. Made a nice potion.. Mom didn’t know, and doesn’t drink (Sigh.. You know I can cook and stuff, make cocktails, and get sassy too, so why did the guy upstairs give me a diff mom) So mom comes in and drinks a glassful thinking that I am making thandai.. Oh the wonders of the strong stuff.. She laughed at everything and thought that everything was a joke.. I didn’t tell her, but I think I should slip some in when she gets mad.. but I am afraid it might turn the needle the other way round..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s