My saga as chief cook, dishwasher, cleaning lady, working woman etc

Monday dawned bright … and in my view, insanely early

I stumbled into the kitchen, quickly chopped and threw some veggies, rice, masalas etc into a pan for a casserole and set some ready to eat chicken tikkas to thaw for Kid #2

Was gearing up for dusting and leaving for office when maid’s husband came with the news that she broke her leg

For one insane moment I nearly waylaid him to do my jharu poncha!  Nah!  Even I am not that insane, but I admit, I was soooo tempted.

I looked at the dogs and nearly wrung Kid#1’s neck (in absentia) for adopting T H R E E of them.  Big effin deal one or three, its all the same.  We are stuck!  Fed the fishes, washed the terrace, and the outer verandah’s while it was still cool. 

Then I fixed some sandwiches for Kid#2 to take to college

11 a.m.

Boss aka Mogambo rings up

Mogambo : You are on leave?!

Me : (looking at the poncha and my wet dirty pajamas, and wondering why folks have to state the obvious) Haanji

Mogambo: Why?

Me: Ji, I have no help at home.  So I am cashing my earned leave

Mogambo:  This is not done

Me: (considering that I have SIX whole months of E.L. un-encashed) I know boss, but I cant help it.

Mogambo: (Jadhoing bossgiri) Madam, when you join duty we must have a meeting about this!

Me (mentally taking deep breaths and reminding self that there is an economic slump, so I should not shove the cellphone even in imagination into certain regions) Jee Sir

He slammed the phone down and I attacked the floor with renewed ferocity

Here I admit I got carried away.  I was totally angrily enthusiastic and cleaned the whole darn place.  Kid#2 came back from college and faced a sweaty scruffy Mom scrubbing away to glory, and a squeaky clean home.

Mom you are insane

Me : Yeah?  Tell me something new

Kid#2 : What did you tell office

Me: That I cant come because the dogs have no one at home

Kid#2 OMG!! You did not!!!

Me: Yup

He shook his head and walked into his room looking at the watch and muttering, “She had a surgery and is still weak. I wish Bhai was here”

I walked into the bath muttering “Bhai is in Bahrain and we have a house and fishes and dogs.  The house can go stew, but dammit, the dogs need care”

I came out and he thrust a vodka (large, extremely large, neat on the rocks) into my hands and I gulped it down

He thrust a plateful of casserole into my hands, I ate and crashed.  Swear I did and I surfaced at 8 p.m. with Kid#2 checking if I was still breathing.  Yup he was poking a finger up my nose!

I got up, did dishes, cooked dinner, did (groan) dishes, cleaned kitchen and slept.


I had to do JUGAAD

So Tuesday found me up at 6 am on the stairs desperately looking at any ‘kaamwali” looking female.  Yesss I was on the prowl.  This tigress had had enough in one damn day.  I accosted every likely candidate and finally got one woman to clean up for me.  She even (here I thank heavens!) DUSTED!!!!  It was an effin relief.  But I missed my office and its a/c and the fact that I would not have to move my tired butt.

I remembered one likely candidate …………

Someone who worked as a peon in some forgotten corner of the office

I pulled strings and got him to agree to baby sit the dogs for me.

Here I unashamedly admit I called in the favors I had done for him when he nearly lost his baby to kaala khansi.  In brief, I paid, and his baby lived.  Poor chap, even though he is scared of dogs, he agreed.

And Wednesday I went to work!!!!

Ahhhh blisss!

But Wednesday is another story …..

Tune in for the update

Same place …. Same saga …… Another day

I still havent got a live in



10 thoughts on “My saga as chief cook, dishwasher, cleaning lady, working woman etc

  1. There is one common gene for bosses I think. Sadistic beings… Don’t stress to much re!

    You’re old, make use of it.

    Thank you ….. I think 😛

    Make Kid2 cook! 🙂

  2. ROFL my mom and sis are staring at me confused that what has come over me

    ok now that I want to make fun but the way u have written this its damn funny

    on the serious note, i so understand what u mean… hope u get a help ASAP, ignore the house till then… order from outside if u have to… dont stress urself too much

    I know …. I am a clown! But yes, its too darn tiring!

  3. Whoa! That was exhausting to read. Hope you find a live-in pronto

    Yeah! Calling all houseboys, Helloooooo Anyone there???!!! Got a few candidates – but just liked one and he demanded 10K! I am shocked!

  4. Heh, trust you to write about even the most excruciating things in such a funny manner 😀 Good luck with finding help… yahan I have no such respite, sab kaam khud karna padta hai and without ANY hope of getting help. Bah

    Remind me never to leave India, this is ideal country for us domestically inept people

  5. 🙂 karam kiye ja phal ki ichcha mat kar aaye insan jaisa karam karega waisa phal dega bhagwan … wish you luck


  6. All I can say is I have been through all this, right upto the prowling for a maid bit 🙂
    I also get carried away when I work myself, everything shines but I end up overexhausted and drained out.
    I know how crazy it can be…but still do get police verification etc when you get a live in.

    I did, plus I always get people who are related to already known domestics as an added insurance

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