I was involved in two elections ….. and I did not get to vote or participate in any! Needless to say I am bummed! I do not like spectator sports, which is my chief grouse against blue flicks. The other is that the calisthenics performed by the lead couple gives me a distinct feeling of inadequacy and who needs that! I definitely do not need that kind of competition. But I digress …..
The first poll was the Indusladies competition I took charge of. It was quite an education. Like they say : Usme emotion tha, drama tha, action tha, booth capturing tha, fraud voting tha, aur to aur, Usme Ma bhi thee! Well it was a Mother’s Day competition, so it had to have mothers …. The only thing it did not have was a fight sequence – even though at times I was spoiling for a fight. The ladies were very civilized. Khair …..
Any how, the deserving candidates did win and I managed to ensure that it was fair. It was fun while it lasted, even though as a moderator I did not get to participate or vote.
Then came the desh ka election. With my name missing from the voters list, I could not vote but it was fun watching TV and listening to all the citizens of the country investing enormously on sound bytes and very little on physical presence at polling booths. I swear, we are absolutely intoxicated with the sound of our own voices. And we have opinions, even though we wont budge an inch or make an effort to make them real! All in all its fun and I do so love a tamasha.
Now its over, BJP is sulking, Behn Mayawati is on the warpath sacking her party people and the Left got left behind. Khel Khatam ho gaya boss. IPL is the only entertaining thing left. Sigh! I need a life, I need a man in my life to fight with and blame for all the miseries and boredom in life.
The conversation would be something like this
Me : Lets do something, lets go out somewhere
He : Okay, shall we go out to the mall?
Me : Nah! It’s gonna make me spend money unnecessarily. I dont need the stuff I’ll buy
He : Okay, shall we go out to eat?
Me : (offended) If you dont like my cooking just say so ….
He : Honey I love your cooking, but you wanted to go out (said in a WTF tone)
Me : Oh ohkay. I am bored let’s do something
He : I know, lets go visit friends. I’ll ring up jhgttuy
Me : B o r i n g. I dont wanna visit friends.
He : (warily) Okay, what do you want to do?
Me : (miffed) I got to decide this also? I want you to decide
He : gjhgjhiyiuuyopuouoipui
Me : Sulkily : No one understands me, no one wants to take me out, I am bored, bored bored …. You never do anything fun. We are such a boring couple. There’s nothing fun to do!~
Working myself up into a fine state of emotional uproar
Sounds of the door slamming and the car starting
The man has left the building …….