The Breakfast Wars

Old readers of my blog would know that at home Kid#1 and Moi are the ‘cookers’ and Kid#2 and DIL the ‘eaters’. Works well for us, more since DIL (smart goil) threatens to feed us meals made by her. Mercifully she hasnt made good her threat. Hmm Yeah she made Egg Onion Bake which was okay. She made chicken once and it was HOT. We had to call the fire brigade Phew!!! It was tasty though. 2 dishes in three years – she needs to make one more dish, to make it one dish a year. Must tell her! But I digress

My attitude towards cooking is : Meal is on the table. I am eating. You guys can eat when you want to. I finish my meal and get back to my computer or TV or whatever …..

Kid#1 is harmonal. I am not kidding at all. He freaks out and when he is cooking no one hangs around the kitchen. He is holy terror. Once he has laid the table and put food, you are, at the pain of death, supposed to drop everything and hot-foot to the table, or he will sulk, throw a tantrum and make life unpleasant.

Yesterday I wandered into the kitchen and decided that I would have a sinful breakfast. Yeah I get that mood, and when I get it, I never get to eat anything good, fattening and sinful. Sulk Sulk

I checked the freezer and there were these thick yummy looking hot dogs lying there, and I pulled them out. Kid#1 landed up

Kid#1 : What you doin?

Me : Breakfast time, I want something that takes time digesting. I dont want oatmeal today

Kid#1 ; Snatching the packet out of my hand : Those are not sausages, they are chorizo

Me : Trying to unsuccesfully grab the pack : They look like sausage and I wanna eat it.  I like eating stuff I dont know how to spell

Kid#1 : Shoo! Shoo!  I am doing breakfast

Me : Not liking being shooed out of the kitchen : Okay I’ll make me some chow mein.  Want some ?(while picking up the packet of fresh noodles fm the fridge)

Kid #1 : Snatching that damn thing out of my hand too : This is unhealthy, throw it

Me : This was tantrum time : I LIKE IT.  I wont throw it! (and I huffily stomped into my room)

5 minutes later the most divine smell came from the kitchen.  I landed up there, and seeing that Kid#1 wasnt around I decided to taste a slice of the whatchamacallit sausage look alike.  My bad luck, Kid#1 caught me in the act and freaked out.  He stopped cooking and went up in a huff.

I ate a slice of bread with a glass of milk – told ya about the “wanting to eat sinful stuff and not getting to”.  Kid#2 wisely stayed in his room.  DIL scolded Kid#1 for being harmonal and me for …… being me I guess

I went off to spend quality time with an old female friend.

Today the maid packed some of that scrambled egg with sausage thingy in my lunch.  Dahlins it was delicious.  Well I cant let it go – can I?

Rang up Kid#1

Me : Hey that thing u made for breakfast was yummy

Kid#1 : Its called chorizo and I am not gonna talk about it

Me : The maid packed it in my lunch box – its delicious

Kid#1 : (Coldly) I did not eat it and we shall not talk about it

Me : Your bad luck.  Its not as though you got your chums or are preggers.  I am menopausal and even I dont throw such tantrums.  Tell you, its yummy

Kid#1 : We shall not talk about it, like I said

Me : But we are …..  Its yummy

Silence …………………….

Me : Have I irritated you enough

Kid#1 : Wish you were my age and I could curse you

Me : You wanna use the F word?

Kid #1 : Phone disconnected

Man!  Sometimes having kids to torture is such fun!!!!


25 thoughts on “The Breakfast Wars

  1. Those who dont know me I am Kid#1.
    First of all my mom does not understand A,B and C about good food and healthy cooking well not by my standards.

    Secondly mom does not know about Trans-Continental world cuisine and my attempts to educate her usually end up like this.

    Third mom, we will still not talk about Chicken Chorizo Scrambles.

    People, those who want the recipe ask my mom to apologise to me then I will give it.

  2. Ritu.. get recipe!!!
    @ Kid 1
    Dude! You seriously sound harmonal… what’s this healthy cooking funda? You’re young! (You are, right?) Relax, and tell us the recipe 🙂

    Naah, he was born an old man! He begs to differ. He feels he had to grow up since his Mom did not!

  3. Momma looks like you were in the Gestapo
    to treat thus your kiddo numero uno
    but seems like you two make a deadly duo
    apologize, let the women have their Chorizo

    Govind I love your verses
    They’re better than Kid#1’s curses!

  4. hey ritu.. so ur kids have started landing on ur blog. i love this.. looking forward to read more n more often 😀

    Ishaan, I am totally with u.. hope you havn’t read ur mumma’s archives… 😛

    ROFL! He has and thinks I’ve a lot to answer for!

  5. Waiting for the day my kids start making breakfast and start reading my blog-Payback time. U’ve earned it Ritu!

    Oh its absolutely fun! They screw up your ego too!

  6. LOL. I love your family posts. What’s even more funny is that the war has continued on the blog. You guys are great 🙂

    Thank you Suvi! This is the best about family life … the wars!

  7. This is hilarious !!!!

    I have to sympathize with Kid 1. If such behavior is termed hormonal so be it. Thankfully that card is available to me.

    So it is …..

  8. Me : You wanna use the F word?

    Ha ha ha…poor guy, you really bullied him..

    Quirky Indian

    I know … like I keep telling them, I had them for my entertainment …. and they are stuck with me LOL

  9. Another masterpiece, your family posts rock… Kid #1’s comment was the icing on the cake….please apologise, I want the recipe toooo!!!!

    Hmm, I guess I must bow down to popular demand! Okie Ishaan I am sorry, but that’s me. You gotta live with it

  10. what exactly is “harmonal” that everyone is referring to? am i missing a joke here?

    Harmonal means the mood swing sort of behaviour one expects out of teens hitting puberty or women being menopausal …. especially women being menopausal

  11. Absolutely hysterical, this post of yours!
    (Psssst- I’m glad Kid 1 ain’t my kid and that you aren’t my mom either!!!!!!!!)

    Hahahahaha, I love torturing him 😛

  12. “Wish you were my age and I could curse you”

    LOL…. seems like you reallyyyyyyy enjoy teasing him 😛

    I do! It sooo satisfies my maternal angst!

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