Lament of the heavy lover

I saw her on Facebook, sent her a friend’s request

She added me, and then we also met on Twitter

For sometime it seemed that we’d remain unmet

For she had Gchat, I felt Yahoo was much better


Once where a poke or a LOL would suffice

She wanted us to meet, it caught me by surprise

I am fat and balding, my profile pic was photoshopped

She was comely, and witty, I felt my stomach drop


Reluctantly after a few weeks I have had to agree

My love story I think is coming to an end

We meet today, This is my poetic lament

For who would love a man so bald and chunky


The girl’s reply

Do not think that I am dumb or entirely lacking wit

As soon as you said you worked on the internet

I knew you were shy,  had glasses and were fat

I had to break the ice, make moves, its a fact


I want a man with whom I can be comfortable and free

Not another male hunk who ogles at girls who are chesty

You techys will drool over gizmos and talk greek

And wont fuss if dinner is simple sandwich and coffee


If you like we can talk on chat box the whole day long

You wont know if I havent dusted or the curtain’s torn

You will drool over browsers, talk in HTML code

Why, you may even someday type me an ode


You never even noticed that my skin was pimply

That I am dark, plain and am quite skinny

I have met other men who are quite fussy

You dont know yet, I think it is you who I will marry


Its gonna be a great thing you just dont know that yet

Besides computer geeks earn a lot of money on the internet


41 thoughts on “Lament of the heavy lover

  1. Sab kuch – up until the girl’s reply – was same to same as has often happened in my jeevan. But uske baad, it veers into an obvious fairy tale and total bloody humbug… mere saaath aisa kabhi nahin huan hain! ;/

    Kyon is budhaape mein sapney dikha rahein ho??

    Aw c’mon. Abhi toh I am in my youth, so you can not be budha! May be you’ll meet a smart canny goil soon

  2. Lol Ritu, you come up with the funniest things!! :)))

    Wow Shail, I love your poetry. It is totally emosanal attyachar! I totally admire it. Your compliment means a lot to me

  3. Hey. My feed reader recommended I read your blog. Just getting started but I like your organsised template. (and the woman playing weave-finger game of which I don’t know the name)

    Feed readers recommend my blog?! Oh wow! The woman is me and I am weaving a snare with strings …..

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention Lament of the heavy lover : Weaving A Web --

  5. Really awesome! Have read something like this before as in points why dating a geek is better. Never heard its poetic version. It sounds like rap 😀 Loved your template too. The comments section especially.

    Thank you, thank you!! Would love to read the prose form too

  6. Pingback: Interview with Ritu Lalit « pulkitatulgupta

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