If I were Empress of the World

Of course in my own eyes I already am!  But public opinion bhi maangta hai na!

Well if I were the Empress here is what would happen

1. Window Shopping would be classified as aerobic exercise.  So would sex.

2. The entire globe would be wi-fi enabled and no one would pay for internet

3. The entire world would run on solar energy and people using fossil fuels and trying to make money out of selling essential stuff like food, water and power would be thrown in jail.  I’d take them out of the dungeon on a day I was bored and have them try to kill each other.  GO NINJA GO! (I would like to classify jeans, shoes, tees and sweaters as essential too, but kuch zyada ho jayega!)

4. Similar would be the fate of people trying to make money out of other people’s misfortunes like disease and death

5. But special treatment would be meted out to rapists, child abusers, people who are intolerant, people who are bestial and cruel and curb other’s religious and personal freedom.  They would be put into padded cells in lunatic asylums in solitary confinement.  I think they’re nuts anyway …..  They could wither away frothing in the mouth and talking to themselves.

6.  I am getting increasingly disillusioned and angry with the recent Shiv Sena attack on Shah Rukh Khan over IPL.  These bully boys have to be stopped.  If  I were Empress, those pricks from Shiv Sena would already be in solitary confinement where they could not spew their poison.  The people from the media who are giving them a platform to spread their poison would be in dungeons awaiting their duel to death for my entertainment and the Govt would be sent to the hospital to be physically castrated.  They are morally and spiritually eunuchs anyway, since they allow this nonsense to be replayed again and again.


16 thoughts on “If I were Empress of the World

  1. Indeed May you be the Empress this very moment, the World could be rid of so much hatred and despicable characters that pass on as leaders (sic) of the masses and those Eunuchs that we have elected to rule us.

    Pathetic displays on non-tolerance are being eulogised by the media both at home and abroad. One small request When you indeed take the baton as the Empress, please make the World free of Boudries that devide people physically, emotionally and intellectually.

    I shall pray for you to be the Empress that You already are in your very own right.

    I do agree with Rohini though, you might need a LOT of Dungeons 😀

    Happy Ruling, Hail Empress

    Her Majesty likes this 😉

  2. hail the empress 🙂
    point 6 is bang on! Sachin, ambani and now shah rukh. Alas god forgot to make a stop button for these banashees!!!

    How about some toxic virus to attack their vocal chords? Godji should look into this

  3. You could make it a rule to have dress shops carry dresses in ALL sizes. And free chocolate vending machines for those days. And start a clone factory (johnny depp, brad pitt, george clooney) Just imagine the possibilities! 😀

    All hail the Evil Queen 🙂

    Now look what you did! I gained calories just reading this feel good idea! Wanna be P.M. to my Empress? Only if you make the clone machine work

  4. All I want is –if you do become one—please find a way to give direction so that the country can be governed well.

    Its actually easy to be a backseat critic than a player in the murky arena you know ….

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