Remember the song in a movie called Kati Patang which went “Mera Naam Hai Shabnam”. Hmmm I thought Bindu looked hot and Asha Parekh seriously lost in the life and charisma department. However that is not what this blog post is about ….
It is a prayer of thanks to Godji for giving my folks enough grey matter to not name me Pinky, Tiny, Teetu, Pappu or whatever the eff Punjabi folk name their kids. Yesterday the car door got mended and the mechanic who did this was an obese and unkempt looking surd called Lovely
I am sure when he was a kid, growing up and committing parenticide must have featured hugely in his list of things to do. Why dont they have a system wherein the kid gets to have a say in what he/she is named?
We have auto rickshaws proclaiming Tiny Tey Dolly Di Gaddi . Tiny grows up to be 6 feet and huge, Dolly brought up on aloo paranthas and butter is nothing like a fragile doll. We also have the evergreen names i.e. Pappu, Pinky, Jolly and Teetu.
Teetu or Titu whatever has played an interesting role – like the proverbial joker, he slips into a few significant incidents to make the game.
I have a cousin who was not at all academic. Cousin V would threaten to commit suicide or run away if any one scolded him for failing or getting bad marks. I mean his threats were at times dangerous and at times wild and creative. So were his excuses. If he spent a fraction of that ingenuity in trying to clear his papers he could have been home free. But it would not have been fun.
Example : All kids washed and dressed for dinner with report cards in hand waiting for the signature of the parents. His turn came before ours since he was about 7 years older ….
Uncle solemnly enquired : Hor, Kiddan Kitta Paper ? (And how did you fare?)
Cousin V : Blurting out while handing his report card : Titu vi fail ho gaya. (Titu also failed!)
Uncle : Slightly distracted : Keda Titu? (Which Titu)
Cousin V : Pointing at the hapless cousin S next in line : Titu – the one who stays four houses away, this one’s particular friend (quickly snatching the next cousin’s report and thrusting that into his father’s hands and slinking away)
Well he went without dinner and the entire evening was spent discussing how to punish him and we got off easy.
God bless Titu and Cousin V
Some years ago, a few of us cousins with kids in tow went on a bus journey to Chandigarh. The bus stops for a longish while mid way where every one stretches their legs, visits the wash rooms etc.
One of my cousins’ wife had to nurse her baby and she went into a secluded rest room for that. This took a bit of time. The bus driver and conductor started getting restive. One of the kids was sent after the mother and baby duo
Ripe for mischief and in no mood to hearing the driver grumble, the rest of the gang started creating a huge noise
Oyyye Kithey Gaya Titu????
One of the co-passengers asked “Who is Titu?”
They happily lied – “He was sitting here, just started talking to him. We dont know him but he may have left his luggage here ….”
There was some tension as to unattended luggage that made the driver and conductor search the bus. It took 15 minutes in which other well wishers joined in
Soon we had the entire bus looking for the mythical Titu
Meanwhile the kids got the mother and infant duo back in the bus unnoticed. The cousins regretfully abandoned their search for the mythical Titu
The bus left for Chandigarh.
Well – now we simply charter a bus. Its way more simpler!
P.S. (This is a small adaptation of ideas I am working into a book that I am writing. Do you think such tales will sell? Need some feedback)