A Tribute to Tejaswee Rao

It was a sad week for us. Our friend IHM wrote asking for our prayers for her daughter who was seriously ill.  We prayed, we were anxious … but this blog entry of hers broke my heart ……

Born: 19th Jan 1991.

Died: 11th Aug 2010.

Death be Not Proud

A poem by John Dunne

Death be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,

For, those, whom thou think’st, thou dost overthrow,

Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.

I could only weep.  I have spent a sleepless night, because this death brought back memories I’d rather not revisit.   I was 23 years old when my friend, my partner in crime, my younger brother left his work place to come home.  He never made it, his body was brought home by my father.  He was 22 years old.

It is easy to say “Be brave.”  It is easy to say that we are born alone and have to live our lives alone and then we die alone.  It is easy to say a whole lot of things, but our mind, our emotions, our heart keeps on screaming “Why God Why?!!!”  My mother kept weeping “How do I erase 22 years of love and memories?”  I was deeply affected too … I mourn him even now, at times, How do I stop thinking about that thankless job that I took upon myself …… packing his clothes, his shoes, his books, his personal effects and then driving down to give them to charity? I have done the same chore after the death of my father and then my mother …..  I hate it.  I kept his diary with me … I still have it.  He had dreams, he had the youthful optimism of a young boy wanting to conquer the world.

I have watched my parents die every year, slowly after his death.  It is such a huge loss.  IHM is a very strong person and she is dealing with grief in such a dignified way.

At times I want to go up there and fight with God.  It is unnatural for children to go before their parents.  It is not fair.  No parent any where in the world should be forced to deal with this sort of thing.

Sometimes I think this world sucks big time.

I read Tejaswee’s blog last night – could not sleep.  She was a wonderful girl, confident, articulate and intelligent.  This is not surprising – her mother is a wonderfully confident and expressive woman with oodles of common sense.  I wish I had known her, and I wish she had been allowed to live on this planet.

Goodbye Little Girl …… really wish you had not left so soon

An English Translation of a French Poem

On the Death of Young Girl

Though childhood’s days were past and gone
More innocent no child could be;
Though grace in every feature shone,
Her maiden heart was fancy free.

A few more months, or haply days,
And Love would blossom, – so we thought,
As lifts in April’s genial rays
The rose its clusters richly wrought.

But God had destined otherwise,
And so she gently fell asleep,
A creature of the starry skies,
Too lovely for the earth to keep.

She died in the earliest womanhood;
Thus dies, and leaves behind no trace,
A bird’s song in a leafy mood, –
Thus melts a sweet smile from a face.

48 thoughts on “A Tribute to Tejaswee Rao

  1. It is a very sad state. Seems so unfair that such a bright young woman had to die suddenly. Why god why??
    I have held my daughter real close and cried yesterday night. IHM is very strong and i’m really inspired by how shes dealing with the loss. You are right “No parent any where in the world should be forced to deal with this sort of thing.” God are u listening???

  2. I read Tejaswee’s blog too. Made me misty eyed. Especially that post of her where she talks about death. February 23. I’m still numb. God isn’t fair.

    • yup – read that.. it did give a heart ache…

      personally, this surely was not my thought up until y’day when i sat down again to read her blog… i was reading her words page after page – something almost immediately cropped up within that said – she had lived a perfect life… she had been the best daughter… she had been the best comrade to everyone around… she wrote about issues that not many teens would have even thought of at that age… but she did all that…. she was an epitome of humaneness if one can say… she had been the best n she will always be the best n her words now will stand the test of time to make us all realise that.. now more than ever am convinced life is a journey towards perfection… people may die young – people may die old… most of those deaths dont make sense that you wanna fight with Him.. but am convinced now after reading her words that she has reached His abode only cos she has completed her life, fulfilled her purpose…. i have always been fond of the saying, “excellence i can aim for but perfection is His business”… now as Teju said am forming new ideas cos i really really really know now what it means to be perfect… God bless ya Tej – you will live forever in all our hearts… but still yes we do miss you a lot down here… ::hugs::

  3. It has been heartbreaking. Today, the tears are under control. IHM is an inspiration, with her grace and courage in the face of tragedy. Tejaswee was such a lovely girl, her passing away makes no sense whatsoever. Such is life. So many of us, who never knew her except from snippets in IHM’s blog, are totally bereft. God rest her soul.

  4. Its extremely disheartening…. I was so shocked myself and suddenly so insecure about life.. just hugged my daughter and couldn’t sleep !!! I have been thru the loss of my dad and nani !! it was difficult but i cant imagine anything ever happening to my child I WOULD DIE !!! its amazing how brave IHM is !! its unbelievable !!!

    Sometimes.. life is just so Unfair !!!

  5. This was really shocking and terrible to every blogger…. and like you said, IHM has carried herself in such a dignified and strong manner.. so like her!! Her daughter must have been just like her… beautiful, strong, radiant.. its such cruelty that this had to happen!!! I wonder what is fair then??? So sorry to hear about your brother too, Ritu. It must be equally devastating to lose a sibling and be left with only memories… all this makes us realise how unpredictable and uncertain life really is…. I feel sad, tired and rather helpless, really. it really is unfair and cruel for God to take a child away… nothing is more devastating to a parent!

    • It is devastating and it shakes the foundation of your entire life. For me – I lost my childhood friend, my security, my comfort blanket …. for my parents, it changed them forever, they loved him so much – their son was like their vansh, their legacy … it hit them hard. Besides that he was just 22 and no parent should have to endure such a loss. I can just feel what IHM is going thru

  6. Ritu, I got to know about this tragic new from FB, we were all aware of her illness through IHMs blog. Cruel destiny has snatched away a very bright and articulate child, her blog is so vibrant and full of life. May her soul rest in peace always. May God grant IHM the strength to bear this loss. Though no mother will ever be able to erase out the memories of the last 19 years.

  7. I feel almost scared to say something – I think anything I say would seem ridiculous and inadequate. And different people need comforting in different ways. For some, it could mean not referring to anything and just carrying on as usual, for others it could be something else.

    I’m just totally lost in such moments…

  8. TRAGIC.. god is evil sometimes there are so many worst people in this world and they are getting to live there full life .. WHY

    I too read her postsand what a young girl full of life and a life nipped in the bud..SAD .. VERY SAD

    I just hope and wish IHM to be strong and able to bear this pain.. if only God does act in strange ways .. I wish we could ask the question

    May she rest in peace
    very sad news

  9. I fail to understand what God has on top of his mind 😦
    RIP Tejaswee. I so don’t want to believe this has happened – just fell in luv with her after reading her blog 😦

  10. ritu, i had tears in my eyes when i read ur post. I know i hate it when ppl say, be brave, what can be done now, jisko jana tha woh chala gaya, i hate to hear this. I lost my close relative recently, I know how it feels, but i am sorry to say this that some ppl donot empathise with u, they only sympathise.

    I can relate what it means to donate the things of the deceased… i know it…I shatters u to the core.

    am really upset about all this, surely IHM is a very brave person and an equally balanced human being.


    • She is balanced and dignified. I admire her for it. You know those polite platitudes given by people used to fill me with rage – I was hurting and the words seemed so useless. Like you said folk sympathize, but there is no empathy – only someone who’s gone through this can understand

  11. Isnt it unfair that such a bright little girl had to die? From her blog she sounds like a remarkably mature young woman, something we don’t see very often in teenagers these days. Though I don’t have kids yet, I can fully understand what her family must be going through. Children are not supposed to die, they are supposed to live a full life.

  12. You got your heart in the right place, Ritu.
    A sad moment yes, makes one wonder at the logic of it all.
    No more words to say…
    just feelings.

  13. I am really saddened to hear about the tragedy. Though I only know IHM through her comments on Ritu’s blogs. Please accept my heartfelt condolences IHM…

  14. hugs ritu, sometimes I just hate life. I cried so much when I heard of Tejaswee, read her blog all night and couldnt sleep when I was lying down. And your post made me cry again.

    Just reading about this is making my heart ache, cant even imagine how u would be feeling or IHM dealing with this


  15. I was shocked too when I read about IHM’s daughter. I lay awake for a long long time into the night thinking about IHM and her daughter. Sometimes life is so cruel. Sad for your loss too.

  16. I did not go to the prayer meeting in LSR thinking whether IHM would be there and respecting her anon status but my heart was silently praying for the charming girl , a beautiful fragrant soul.. I am still numb.. life goes on.. it is the same feeling which I carry for my cousin.. a like interrupted too soon . RIP Teju

  17. ((hugs))))Ritu. Wanted to share the link to Starry’s post , came to search for your email. …saw on starry’s that you have read it today.
    I am glad.
    much love.

  18. Lovely tribute post Ritu….

    Sad everytime someone close to us passes us,more so when they are younger…. May God give the strength u and IHM need to get thru each day!!

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