Dear Kid#1, Kid#2 and DIL and of course our three dogs, Jeannie Baron and Piper
Let me assure you that I love you all, even if I show it in the most eccentric ways. Now don’t you roll your eyes at me, it really tempts me to take you to the eye specialist.
Yeah of course I write crazy blog posts like this one and the one before this. That is just the kind of thing I love to do, I am the Mom. Deal with it.
Kid#1, so what if I ate the smooth peanut butter and the jam. You left it on the kitchen shelf after your midnight snack and I did not have the time to take out the jar of crunchy peanut butter. Pssst! I agree, it tastes better and so does the jam. I was trying to eat healthy but preserves suck. Don’t scream, I’ll get more smooth peanut butter. Stop behaving like a baby! You are way too old to do that.
Kid#2, ya, I know you’ve grown up and do pull your share of work in the house. But do you have to leave your shoes and dirty tee shirts on my bedroom floor? I nearly fell in the night on my way to the bath room. And if you are looking for that particular pair of shoes, I’ll tell you if you apologize nicely. Otherwise ….
DIL, if you keep those late hours, when you are old and need company I shall just run away on the whole world cruise with a hot old man. Dont laugh and tell me I am way too old. We live in the good modern world and the times of Viagra. You’ll be lonely for feminine company then.
And you three doggies …. yes you Jeannie, Baron and Piper, try and keep it down will you?
And if all of you are going to form a union against me, remember one thing …. we mothers are all powerful. We even have a song! Listen to it and enjoy 😈