Postcard to self for 2011

Well I have been a saint in 2010 …. at least the last two months.  I have given up sugar, maida and ghee.  I have even started going for long walks.  Mind you, I have had to do them, because of medical reasons.  These are not resolutions that I have made.  I n.e.v.e.r make resolutions.  Being the kind of person I am, once I make them, I then feel it is my moral duty to break them.  I also treat rules the same way.  And yes, I was the kid in school who looked longingly out of the window in class, and perversely spent the games period in the class.

Okies …. so what do I have to say to self for  2011

1.  I resolve to try and control my laughter at jokes of my own devising.  Lesser mortals may not get them.  And stop rolling your eyes at me, dear offsprings.  English language is a hoot.  Where else will you have a term like “PSYCHO THE RAPIST” which denotes a respectable profession hmmm?

2. I will try to not be tempted to roll my eyes at people who order sugarless coffee and a huge chunk of chocolate cake at a coffee shop.  No it is not sour grapes.  I simply don’t get it.  I will look the other way.

3. I will try to live within my budget, failing which I resolve to search for a suitable pocket with a more generous budget to live off.  Millionaires invited please.  Apart from the loads of money, all they need to have is a sense of humor.

4. I will try not to figure out how exactly to execute a crime.  At least not aloud.  Yeah I am prone to watching Sansanikhej Khabar and the likes and then plan out how exactly the crime should be executed successfully.  Thing is that when I talk about it, people get a glazed look in their eyes.  In my defense, I think its excellent exercise of imagination and grey matter.

5. I will try not to look tired and washed out, so that I can blackmail the kids into allowing me a drink (medicinal).  It never works, damn.  I need to figure out another act, which will work.  I may as well keep a bottle in my almairah, but drinking alone sucks.

6. I will try not to get all emotional about money or the lack of thereof.  If I have it, I spend it at once.  So getting emotional about it is a waste of time.

7. I will try not to lure stray dogs to the house.  Our resident dogs have taken offence.  They nearly killed the last one …

8. I will try not to look for hidden chauvinistic undertones in everything men say at work.  Nah! Forget it, it isnt worth the effort to get pissed about.  They don’t know any better.

9. I will source sugar and fat free deserts, and then turn my nose at them.  Then I shall go without desert and be martyr.  What is life without a bit of melodrama?

10. F.O.R.  O.N.C.E.  I.N.  M.Y.  L.I.F.E I shall wear a cowboy hat with dungarees and a tucked in tee shirt properly accessorized with spur boots and pistols and walk a busy mall.   What is life without sensationalism?

I shall live, laugh, love and of course fight and cry wholeheartedly.  I don’t know how to live any other way.

AWESOME GYAN FOR 2011

Sardi aur beizzatti jitni mehsoos karo utni hi lagti hai

HAVE A WONDERFUL 2011

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22 thoughts on “Postcard to self for 2011

  1. You have a lovely 2011 and i hope you get to do all that you have resolved to do..

    Wishing you and everyone at home a very happy new year and may the new year see you fulfill all the wishes ….

    make sure you take a pic of that cowboy hat and dungrees and the spur s…

    all the best

    Bikram’s

  2. Hi Ritu, I just loved all the points in your post card. I am so looking forward to your cow boy act, pls let me know the mall your going to sensationalise in so that I can be there on time 😛 😛

    Have a happy New Year Ritu, and by the way, you are rocking!!!!

  3. no 2 even I dont get it. the same goes for double cheese burger/pizza and a diet coke

    no 6 yes yes thats me

    no 8 ritu a sad hifi i do the same and its useless isnt it?

    no 9 ROFL only u cld say it 🙂

    no 10 ha ha ha I am actually laughing out aloud

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