It’s all in the stars

Me : Ringing up the after world : “Ring Ring”

Me: “Hello is this Mom?”

Mater : “Rituuuuuuu!!!! I don’t believe this. You’ve rung me up at 2 a.m.?”

Me : “I am sorry, but aren’t people who have left the earth not supposed to follow circadian rhythms?”

Mater : Irritated : “Humph, Just because I sent you to good schools does not mean you confuse me when I am enjoying my after-world peace.”

Me, getting straight to the point, “Ma, I rang you up to complain”

Mater : Sarcastically : “Why am I not surprised?”

Me : “Could you not have held back, and waited a few more days to give me birth?”

Mater : Screaming now : “Wh a a a a a a t”

Deep sigh as I hear the mater breathe evenly trying to muster up patience.

Mater : In a calmer tone : “My dear girl, the time of birth is determined by you, not by me. You decided it was time, and you decided to get born.”

Me : At my whiny best : “But I was a baby! You knew better! I am a Piscean, I am so not an Aquarius! I am proud to be a Piscean, that is me! I nearly got a Pisces tattoo done on my back!”

Mater : Screeching the heavens down : “You what???”

Me : “Cool it Mom, I wanted to, but then did not think I could handle the pain.”

Mater : “Did you ring up to just argue about some stupid jyotish vyotish?”

Me : Whining more : “Seriously Ma, you could have had me ten days later. Now they say I am Aquarius, with this new planet thing.”

Click as she disconnects the phone …..

Damn Ophiuchus! Its come and upset all my neatly filed theories about myself

The New Dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 – May 13
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
Gemini: June 21 – July 20
Cancer: July 20 – Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 – Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 – Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 – Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 – Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 – Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 – Jan. 20

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74 thoughts on “It’s all in the stars

  1. you beleive that ritu bhen .. No ways I dont beleive in all this crap.. and GOOD job i did not , you see all this new inventions have just proven my therory that this all is jsut someone making it all up …
    who is so sure that in a few years or another 100 years they aint going to find another zodiac..

    also this proves that all the so called BHAVISHYAWANI’s and the janam Patri bullocks all that was WRONG .. so what are the learned pandits going to do now they have been LIEING all these years .. hmmm

    DHARAM SANKAT ho gaya hai ….

    all the past was a lie then πŸ™‚

  2. Stumbled upon your blog a few days back and got hooked to it.Your posts are hilarious,picturesque and so crisp.I had been staying in Faridabad for 10 yrs till 2007 when we moved to U.S….just trying to remember if I have seen you there anytime…how I would love to meet you!I miss the “chatpata” life of FBD and hence trying my best to move back.I would be glad if you spare a moment reading my blog.
    Keep enjoying Life and blogging!
    Paramita

  3. Me too changed to Aquarius from Pisces..not that I am complaining…I was never a Piscean by the definition of it… (neither do I fit the aquarius definition, come to think of it;))
    My husband is now an ophiu.. or whatever it is πŸ˜€

  4. dont believe this sign change.
    ever wondered why there are only 12 months and not 13 or more in a year??
    For a person who has studied astrology deeply,this new sign concept is flawed.
    western astro is far more inferior to vedic system anyway.
    fishy you still are. <8)-)-)—<

  5. hahaha…tht was an imaginative post! πŸ™‚ Well I was always a cusp, pisces aries anow fall totally in pisces which is fine! But after saying all this, I will add tht I don’t believe in all this-ahem!

  6. naah.. this was just a news piece and was hyped up by the media. It was clearly mentioned that this planet or whatever is way too far to affect the characterestics of mortals on earth.. even if it does.. I am such a proud Libran.. I just cant be a Virgo.. and this Ophiuchus.. this sounds so pukishly silly..

  7. I am that dreaded new star sign Ophiuchus….
    But am so not it!!!
    I went into throes of depression when I got to know a month back
    But then I decided to stick to my Guns, born a Sagi will die a Sagi this new O can take a ride πŸ™‚

  8. OMG this is going to play havoc with my self image and give me a serious identity crisis!! Scorpio no longer. And Libra? Please! Like u said I don’t feel a Libran..

  9. I seriously am not likin this part.. πŸ˜₯ I loved bein a Virgin virgo.. Now that Im no more a virgin. I mean .. I am a LEO πŸ˜₯

    Nice post di.

  10. Phew… I am still a Piscean…
    But everyone around has changed .
    My husband would shift all blame to Libran traits….its not my fault..its the libran way u see…now what would he do …;)
    First time commentor but regular reader..keep the posts coming..

  11. For the nth time, I checked the list to realize the clear and present danger of being shorn of my Sagittarian armour by a mere matter of two days. But I will stick to my conviction of it all being a lot of rhinoceros shit. I loved the comic denouement though!

  12. Oh NOOOOOOOO !!! Mine is changed acc to that table. 😦 😦 😦

    But I consider myself a hard core Virgoan !!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ Let Linda Goodman come up with another book – lemme see then….. πŸ˜‰

  13. Hahaha, Mahesh told me I was no more a Capricorn, and I scoffed at him saying what do you know of this….and here you tell me the same thing. Wonder why I didnt google it. Due to the Lazy bum theory I am sure.
    But I would never want to be a Sagittarius. Sure you put double t and not double g?

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