Various stages of Cleaning Fever

I personally do not know why I get the cleaning bug from time to time.  In my opinion it is very inconvenient, that is, to say the least.  When it hits any one it follows one single course – it gets the poor deluded victim to climb up nooks and crannies, discard a whole lot to stuff that was sitting quietly and minding its own business and such an infection only leaves the victim sweaty, with aching muscles and a pain in the back.

Sigh – cleaning!!

Its various stages … as per my experience are listed below.  Readers can add, embellish etc etc.

1. The pre-incubus stage is brought about by A Sense of Competition

Beware!  If you are feeling that Mrs.XYZ’s home is spotlessly clean, just pause and reflect.  The lady perhaps has nothing much to do in life.  Imagine serving you tea with neatly starched cloth napkins.  Humph!  She probably even keeps tea and coffee in their respective containers.  Possibly she never heard of the creative beauty of keeping tea leaves in the sugar pot and coffee in the container marked tea. Organized is so unimaginative 😦

Unfriend her on FaceBook

Delete her number from your cellphone

Sigh, no use ….  She has infected you, my friend.  You are suffering from the dreaded Cleaning Fever.

Now you may ask, what is the next thing to expect?

2. Delusion, the second stage

Sadly, now you are infected.  You look at them drawers, cupboards and nooks and crannies.  You laugh bravely, roll up your sleeves and declare : “Oh this is nothing.  I’ll get it done within a couple of hours.  You put on some great music like this one

You even sing along and get on with it.  You get one crockery drawer done, and the next . You think to yourself “I’m doing good!”

3. Devastation

Yes, that is what comes next! In your enthusiasm you have emptied the whole damn wardrobe. Ambition has bitten you and you have possibly even upturned the toy cabinet. Your home looks like a wreck and you weep a few tears wondering “How will I ever get this done?” Then you say “Don’t cry” and bawl! After that you pick up letters circa 1971 and wonder why you are such a hoarder and why did you even keep two mismatched orange socks! Then you take a deep breath and say “Don’t panic”

And then in a split second YOU PANIC!!!

Never mind, you have to let the infection run its full course. Take a deep breath, its going to get better not worse.

4. Procrastination

You settle down on the floor or bed, decide to have a cup of tea or something cold. You need it since you’ve been crying/raging/hyperventilating. Then you realize you are hungry and need a bite to eat. May be the dog needs a walk or the baby needs a change or whatever. You switch on the television to distract yourself and calm your nerves. The good news is the infection is subsiding. The bad news is that the home is in a mess. This naturally leads to the fifth stage.

5. Guilt

You look at the clock, four hours are passed since the stage of delusion. Only one wardrobe done. So you blame yourself, kick yourself in the butt, hyperventilate some more, sob some more and get on with it. You also bad mouth children, partner, husband, maid and throw the circa 1971 letters in the dust bin.

It is evening now, you are aching all over, sweaty and badly need some TLC. This is when the final stage hits you

6. Jugaad or Resourcefulness

The shelves are clean, things to be discarded have been thrown. Now you start stuffing everything willy nilly back into the cupboards. After all, what are they for, but to store and hide the mess? You kick some toys under the bed, arrange all visible things neatly and go for a long and relaxing shower.

Congratulations, you have just recovered from a major attack of the dreaded Cleaning Fever.

Yes, you may shine your halo, arrange it on your head, pour yourself a stiff drink and order a pizza. After all the Cleaning Fever leaves the victim weak and tired. One good thing though, you will get a great night’s sleep!

All images, courtesy google

50 thoughts on “Various stages of Cleaning Fever

  1. This was funny. But makes me think of all the clearing I too must do soon, summer clothes to be taken out, winter things to go inside… this is one thing about Delhi that ensures some amount of forced cleaning and clearing.

    • Yeah, and then you visit someone who makes you feel ashamed of the state of your own home 😦

      My bones, joints and muscles are aching. Wish I could oil the creaky hinges of the body

  2. Lol! I get into the exact same mood due to various reasons(guests/rage at mess/ boredom) and do the same! Sometimes I complete it in one heave others i break it up into sessions in between tv viewing and internet surfing!Today was a bad rage day-lol!!!! LOVED ur post! Btw i’m sulking tht u haven’t visited my blog! 😦

    • I dont care about incorrect labels … but imagine having a tin named butter cookies and another named chocolate cookies, and crisp cookies stored in butter paper come out of them. That lady gave me a humongous complex

  3. hahaha ROFL ROFL 😀 i can so relate with the post … and the exasperated look when all is mess and you dont knw what to do is priceless 😛
    totally enjoyed reading it 😀

  4. I am effected by only part one.When ever i see a neat and clean house i feel ashamed and there itself i make a promise that i will go home and start cleaning.I come home and before i start i make and drink tea and when i see tv or laptop,my cleaning gets postponed.I postpone it until i dont find something which i am looking for long and which can’t be replaced.I totally forget about the clean house until i see any clean house……. 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    • I did not have the laptop – hard disk crash … The boys really hurried to get it back. They were disoriented since I not only re-arranged kitchen cabinets, I also changed the furniture lay-out in the house. They got the laptop back before I could start with their rooms 😛

  5. ha ha ha….I never get infected by this one NOW !!! I used to be a freak before…but now I’ve learnt the art of pushing things under the bed once in a while and not to feel guilty abt dusty table tops or some cobwebs…..I do it as and when it demands and how my physical comfort will let me….but never over do beyond my limit.

    Just loved this post….loved the shower and pizza and drink at the end….he he he…. 🙂 🙂

  6. Ha ha! Loved this post! And this is a universal experience, I suppose. 🙂

    I’ve learned NOT to enlist family members to help, when I get hit by the cleaning bug. I’m never satisfied by the way they do things, and end up doing it all over again. Which ensures that the cleaning never gets completed!

  7. I could actually relate to it all, for I too get fits of cleaning sprees every now and then 😛
    But your post actually made me feel a lot better with the thought that I am not the only cleanliness freak around 😀 😀 😀

  8. Loved this post.. Ooo i get this fever when i happen to look at my husband’s cupboard. its neatly stacked, and mine is like there was an earthquake, I have wasted my hard earned weekends behind mess, creating mess and only to end up with guilt and a cup of tea!!!!
    problem is even if i organize everything and keep something in proper place i would never remember where i kept it – whereas if i am messy atleast i am confident that it would be in my drawer(s) …
    Love your writings!!!! 🙂

    • Dont look into his cupboard. Such people exist just to make us lesser beings uncomfortable! I am bitten, badly. Sundays at home are terrible these days. I’d rather cook than clean

  9. hehehehe.. I dont need to see any neighbor as example for this. My MIL has such organized all of it so well and I hate that.
    and that reminds me to do some jugaad.
    Needless to say.. I enjoyed 🙂

  10. hehe..I do relate to point 1 of catching the infection. But it takes me few such infections to actually get infected!!
    I once went to a friend’s house which was sparkling clean.. no utensils in the sink (how is that even possible!!), the living room nicely put, with the pillows in their right place…I saw this and made up my mind to come home and clean..Then, I came home and plonked myself on the couch, and thought that the couch is comfortable even if the living room is messy!! And thus, forgot all about my resolution to clean up the house 😀

  11. This post could well have been written by me – except that it is a lot funnier and better written coming from you. I fret and fume about mess and then lack the energy to carry cleaning out. Ken (my son) cleans up after himself and his sister on the everyday basis. Spring-cleaning ends up with messier cupboards that I then get the maid to sort out.

  12. LOL!!!
    Gosh Ritu, you just described my regular cleaning fever symptoms to the ‘T’ !!
    Each and every point rings true for me 😀
    Am directing the hubby here to see for himself that I’m not the ONLY clutterer in this world!!

  13. hey i just spring cleaned my house yesterday…the cleaning bug does catch up now and then, such sessions help me calm down emotionally. Earlier i wud spring clean my house every now and then but now with kids around i have given up until n unless there’s a occasion or a reason:)

  14. Yes, this is a seasonal virus which attacks me once in a while, but, seeing the state of my house, not often enough:(
    My housekeeping is a constant work-in-progress. I should be happy if the beds are made and all junk is hidden in cupboards!
    We need to find a vaccination against this time-consuming and exhausting virus:)

  15. Hi Ritu
    have being a lurker for quite some time,but this post totally got me out of the shell and well, made me come out and congratulate you for reading my mind (or seeing my state in one of those cleaning moods 😉
    I must tell you that i really really do enjoy your spunky style of writing…!
    awesomeness 😀

    • Thanks for delurking. That was a completely subjective post, written when I was bone tired, a bit tipsy after rewarding myself with a stiff drink and a hot shower … It is my state of mind and being too, after cleaning up.

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