Tbg tweeted this yesterday
To say I am flattered would be an understatement 😉 ; but then it made me wonder about the kind of mothers there are in this world …
Okay first a disclaimer : Mommies this is not about you, its about the other Mommy okay plus it is an over the top post so chill!
1. Mera Baby Perfect Mommy :
She is rose bespectacled, her baby is the perfect angel that does not throw up milk, is a good eater, meets all the milestones well within time, sleeps through the night, and does not fuss! Yes, yes we know this paragon of virtue only exists in the mind of the fond Mama.
But have you even considered how much heartburn this lady inspires in other struggling mothers? She corners all the bragging rights Gaaaaah!
2. The Fanaa Mommy
This poor thing went to pieces the moment she birthed a baby. Her house looks like a typhoon hit it, meals are not cooked or burnt, everything is mismanaged. If you try to talk to her, she bursts into tears or a litany of complaints. Chill Mommy, its just a baby, too small a person to have a nervous breakdown about.
3. The PHD Mommy
The one who comes up to you and starts asking questions, may be 1000 questions about your baby … not because she is interested in your bundle of joy; simply because she does not want to read a book – her research is conducted by interviewing other Moms. She does not divulge any information about her baby. Litmus Test : Start asking her questions about her baby – she is sure to latch on to another mother.
4. The Lecturer Mommy
These ones are easy to spot by their initial question to a perfect stranger in a mall or a park “So is this your first?’ If you nod, unsolicited advise will start coming your way. Since their baby has been born before yours, it gives them the licence to lecture you ….
5. The Main Bechari Mommy
The bang opposite of the Mera Baby Perfect Mommy. She whines, is completely depressed. She will moan about such things like … the baby is unmanageable, the in laws and husband are un-supportive, she is constantly tired, she looks a mess etc etc. You kind of start wondering what would happen to her if she had twins 😛 Actually when my kids were small I kind of liked having one of these Mommies around me, it made feel good about myself.
And then there are these types – as seen by kids who are no longer infants :
The Hisaabi Mummy : Maine tere liye itna kiya, badle mein kya mila?
Dhamki Waali Mummy : Aane do Papa ko, phir teri akal thikani lagegi
Historical Mummy : Tere umar ki thi to poora ghar sambhalti thi
Gumshuda Mummy : Pata nahin kahan rakh dete ho cheezen, kuch nahin milta time se
The Sherlock Holmes Mummy : Ten on ten? Zaroor cheating kari hai!
The Seer : I knew it, I knew it! I told you earlier, it would break/get lost/get stolen …
Smartass Mummy : In reply to the question : Where is my …. whatever?.. she snarls, “Am I google or what?”
I do this very often 😛
Selfish Mummy : (After you have done something particularly selfless like donating blood) Khila Pila kar blood banaya tha, and you donated it?
The Don Mummy : Get off the phone/computer or, alternatively, Turn off the television/music nahin to aag laga doongi!
I do this very often too 😛
The Filmy Mommy : She watches daily soaps avidly, cries buckets when a mother – son crisis happens in movies or the aforementioned soaps, will support and shield her children from Daddy rages and feed them goodies. Somewhere in her heart of hearts, she will long to mouth dialogues like Mere Karan Arjun ayenge, zaroor ayenge. She is longing for that champion who validates her Mommyhood…. and heavens help the hapless daughter in laws who weaken that bond!