Some common parental beliefs

tujhe suraj kahun ya chanda
tujhe deep kahun ya taara
mera naam karega roshan
jag men mera raaj dulaara

Translation

Should I call you sun or moon

Should I call you lamplight or stars

You’ll light up my name

In this world my darling babe …

I was watching Sony Mix and this song came up.  I have heard this song in my childhood, and loved the emotion and depth of love Manna Dey put into the lyrics.  That was then and this is now …

My sons are Cesarean births.  I was fully conscious albeit kind of trippy for both births and I saw them being taken out of my tummy.  I remember thinking it pretty symbolic when the doctor cut the umbilical cord.  It, to me, symbolized that here was a baby, another person … who had his/her life to lead.

I think I led mine and built my own identity, and reputation.

It would be pathetic if all that I built and created depended on someone so much my junior to uphold or besmirch….

I can feel pride and joy in their achievements

Or shame if they transgress boundaries and err

Grieve if they get hurt

But its all about them – not me

In short – its their lives

Is it not?

 

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18 thoughts on “Some common parental beliefs

  1. So true… Mine were also CS kids… very close to them, yet both of them have their identities which we did not try to direct. ITs their lives,yes.
    but then we are always there if they need us

  2. It IS their lives. And if you want your naam roshan-ed, isn’t better you do something on your own, and not depend on your kids to do it for you? 😛

  3. The joy of bringing up the kids is all one has to relish as parents , nothing more nothing less…..this naam roshan business is like asking things in return of parenting .

  4. Lovely thought. I too do not associate the pride that I have for my son with any of his achievements. Definitely his “Maa ka sapna” is to lead his life as per his terms.
    He is also a CS baby and I love him to bits. 🙂

      • I also feel, based on my personal experience ofcourse, that mothers are the epitome of selfishness, to feel happy to see the children happy, because of which they go many lengths to keep the children safe and healthy. 🙂

      • Safe and healthy yes … but the thought that they have to live the parents’ dream … “I did not become a doctor/engineer so my son/daughter has to” even if the kid is not inclined towards academics – that is what bothers me

      • and oh! these days.. the thing for modelling, dancing, acting along with academics. I see parents living off their lives through children. Sad!
        I really wish my child plays atleast as much as I did.. gilli danda, stapoo, pitthoo, konna malokkan and so many. I am determined to teach the kids these games 😉

  5. Interesting thought. Of course expecting them to do all that you didn’t/couldn’t is a bit outdated. Of course I’d be sad if they’re sad and happy if they’re happy.. but I’ll let them find their own happiness while I look for mine.

    • Its not that outdated. I have seen too many parents vicariously living their lives through their kids to dismiss that! Poor little shoulders carrying so big a burden of parental expectations.

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