Internet is fun

Cast of Characters :

Phoenixritu, a 50 year old female

Kartikeya, a 20 year old youth

Walk ins : 3 dogs and a cat

Online : Various cousins

Curtain opens to reveal a double storey house, with Phoenixritu lying on her bed propped up by overstuffed cushions and bolsters on the lower level, and Kartikeya sitting flanked by dogs on the upper level.  The furnishing is modern and eclectic.  In the background, soft tones of Kandisa is playing, the sound emanating from the laptop..

The camera pans the scene and then focuses on the laptop and mobile lying next to the lady.  The youth picks up his phone and quickly punches some keys.  Downstairs the mobile next to Phoenixritu pings.  She picks it up and stares at the screen.

Message : I am still waiting for your move on Words with Friends

She looks up at the roof, and grins.  Then she pings back

I am miffed.  You said ABACINATE was not a word even though the app accepted it.

He laughs.  Then punches a few more words.  Her mobile pings again

Accha baba, sorry.  I checked it up on dictionary.com.  Now PLAY!!!

Phoenixritu shifts slightly in her bed and then opens the app on her phone and studies it.  She thinks a bit.

Meanwhile Kandisa loses its voice.  It is drowned by the thumping of some rock music from the first floor.  She plays her move and then switches her music off.  She plugs her phone to her laptop and goes online.

A Skype window opens :

Cousin ! from UK : Hey Ritu, what’s cooking?

Phoenixritu : I made dal with capsicum, something Monika posted on the web.  And I am thawing kheema, will make some mince cutlets.  What did you cook?

Cousin 1 from UK : Steak and kidney pie.

There is a short pause.

Phoenixritu : (Scowling) Show off!  Just because you guys in Glasgow have no power cuts and can bake all the time …. (Sniffs a bit) Anyway just post the recipe on your blog.

Cousin 1 : Pulling out her tongue : Jealous Cat! Stop being childish.  I will mail you the recipe.  So what’s up?  Kuch naya …

Phoenixritu : Picking up the sleeping cat and positioning it in front of the camera : This is news!  My new pet, her name is Arya!

Cousin 2 from Toronto: There I told you Didi.  Ritu has regressed into childhood.  She has once again started picking up strays.

Cousin Bro from Hong kong : Nah she was always chickish!

Phoenixritu : So?  My life, my house, my decision.  Big Deal!

Cousin Bro : Such a brat!  Grow up!

Phoenixritu : Growing Old is Mandatory

All cousins in a chorus : Growing Up is Optional

Cousin Bro : Yeah yeah we all know that one.  Bored of it.  Think of something new

Meanwhile the cat has had enough, wriggles out of her grasp and jumps on to the laptop. Phoenixritu screams and grabs the laptop and the phone before it hits the ground.  The net connection goes.

She lies on the bed, clutching the laptop an phone, looking shocked.  In a few minutes Kartikeya comes running down

Kartikeya : What happened?

Phoenixritu : Nothing.  The darn cat nearly killed my laptop and phone.

Kartikeya : Hongkong wala Mamaji said something happened to you and you screamed.

Phoenixritu : Sitting up and shaking her head dazedly.  Yeah disaster almost happened.  My phone nearly went.  My net, my games, my whatsapp, my twitter, my facebook, my mail.  I nearly died!

She shudders at the thought of disaster that could have happened.

There is a sound of something falling in the kitchen.

Both run to investigate.  

The cat has thrown the kheema (minced meat) which was on the slab thawing on to the floor.

All the dogs and the cat are happily sharing the meal.

Phoenixritu : Dont scare them.  Let me get my phone.  I have to take a pic and upload it on Facebook

Kartikeya : Ma, that was our dinner

Phoenixritu : What?  The photo is more important than dinner.  We can always reheat lunch.

Kartikeya : Sadly : Damn I wanted mince cutlets.  Dont forget to tag me on that photo

Phoenixritu : Sure.  I will also tag the cousins.

Kartikeya : By the way, I know you are cheating.  Where do you get words from.  Digamy … DIGAMY???  What does it mean anyway?

Phoenixritu : Second marriage after the death of your spouse.  You should research these words ….

-: Curtain falls :-

Isn’t Internet fun? For less than  Rs 200 a month, one can be connected to friends and family, get recipes, play games, and even connect the phone to a computer and access fast internet and unlimited browsing with the awesome Vodafone 3G speed. 

This post is for the Vodafone Internet Is Fun Contest www.vodafone.in/fun

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15 thoughts on “Internet is fun

  1. Its just the kind of life we live. We’d rather sit in our own rooms and communicate onliine. It works for us …

    • Walnuts, Hazelnuts, Cashew nuts and Pistachios … I would have added peanuts but remembered the old botany lesson, peanut is a legume … 😛

      Yes, will upload it

  2. Aw Ritu! I missed reading your blog so much! My exams are almost over and we need to catch up! Give my love to all doggies and now cutie-cat too!

  3. ROFL.. well in this heat of summer this was so refreshing 😀 .. I must visit your blog often to unwind myself. I miss my crazy time with boys. That is the only thing I miss so much.. Damn ! There is no life without the gang.
    Maybe coming here to phoenixhouse is a good idea after all.

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