If I had my life to do over again

Hmmm if wishes were horses, I’d have an entire stable, may be even a race course – ha!

Then again, may be not!

 

But if I had to live my life over again, I guess I would rewire my brain and live it more from my brain than my heart.  It would have saved me a lot of heartache.  But here I am ambivalent about this thing.  If I belonged to the calm and rational breed of humans, I would not be me.  I would not have pushed the very first boy who tried to kiss me into the river.  The next boy who mustered enough courage to do that came along a good two years later.  Maybe he was taking swimming lessons all that time!

If I had to live my life over again, I would have never tried to grow my hair long.  You know how it is, Indian women and long hair.  My hair is thin and in its short avatar it has bounce and curls.  In its long avatar it is limp, lifeless and does not suit my face.  I have years of sucky photos that I am too embarrassed to even look at!

I would have exercised.  Yes, I would have!

I may have not married the man I did … but then again, we did have fun in the beginning and have two lovely sons.  And the hurt, the pain led to me becoming the person I am.  Bad choices are not really bad.  They are a very harsh and steep learning curve and make you find courage and strength you never knew you had.  My marriage gave me strength wisdom and mellowed me down.  I am a much better person because of it.

I may have been kinder to younger siblings … but they were such whiny snoopy irritating little pests, and it was fun lording over them, until they grew into tall strapping boys and bashed the shit out of me.  It was fun while they were little.  So, li’ll brothers I do not regret bossing you 😛

I would have started writing much earlier.  During the years spent working and raising the kids single handed, I did not write.  And if I did, it was a whiny nasty diary … a complete bitch-fest!  I wish I had started writing much earlier.  Writing is fun, it is something that makes me happy.

Yes, so if I had to live my life over again, I would not change my choices, I would not want to be anyone other than me.  But the exercising and the writing …. That I would change.

 

And yes – the hair cut

Yes, this is another GBE2 Prompt

WEEK #56 (6-10-12 to 6-16-12): If I Had My Life to Live Over…

 

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24 thoughts on “If I had my life to do over again

  1. Its always a pleasure to read your posts 🙂 Let me see, what if i had my life over again? You are what you are because of all that happened that it seems hard put to find something to change. I feel like writing a post on this too 🙂

  2. Ritu bhen , I would not I would exactly the same that i have done and od the same mistakes .. After all I am what I am because of all that .. 
     
    <a href=”http://mannbikram.wordpress.com”>Bikram’s</a>

    •  @mannbik You are right, Bikram.  We are what we are because of the unique challenges life threw into our paths.

  3. Why do your posts seem to say all that I want to :p? Now I will have to repeat most of it in my post 😀 .. I sometime wonder what IF we had met much earlier and lived close by.  I could have been a better bitch. 😀 

    •  @tikulicious This had me laughing aloud.  What an ambition, to be a bigger bitch than me.  Actually I dont think it is bitchiness that I have, I am just less inclined to put up with all the crap people dish out

      •  @RituLalit .  …..better bitch than I am now , not bigger than you  rofl  ;D 
        🙂 I know. That’s exactly what I meant. I put up with a lot of crap and not much strength to change that although I try. 

  4. This topic has me struggling, because I’m wondering whether we would be who we are if we did things differently – even the exercising – there’s so much more of us to love 😉 But I agree with the writing, I did too much of self-editing in the past and I’m glad I don’t think so much when I write or speak any more! 

    •  @CorinneRodrigues We would not be who we are if we lived life over again in a different set of circumstances.  I’ve started exercising regularly now, but more for health than for weight loss.  It makes me happy.  Writing, yes, wish I had started writing earlier

    •  @drchoneydew Thanks for the link.  I just finished reading it, much food for thought.  Yes hair grows, and one can re-style it, thankfully.  And love … of course, it grows and one should chose to feed it, and not hate

  5. Bah.. I need to do this myself.. Tonight for sure..The logic of this, makes me think. If i were to go back and change things, and then would I do the things after that the same I would have normally done thigns or with a new insight into how thigns affect me? Also, should such a thing happen, aren’t others who did not do it, at a disadvantage.  Like Maybe had i paid more attention to studies, I would have had a better rank, then what would happen to the person whom I overtook.. He would be deprived of the benefits of his current position. or would every time I got to do a major change, lead into a alternate reality.. we would have multiple realities (maybe we do now, but just don’t know how to access them) where in one we’re how we are, but there other ones that have had better or worse results based on our actions.. Like your marriage with all the hurt and pain made you a stronger person, but had you gone out and married with that boy whom you almost pushed into the river, maybe your initial great times would have made you a softer person, and you wouldn’t be prepared for some of the tough times (not caused by your alternate husband. let us say that he is the loving, loyal ,, caring husband you deserve throughout) that you can face now, but wouldn’t be able to face then. or your kids.. You have such a wonderful trio of them now, maybe then you would have a different set (for better or worse)  Also like you said, what we have done till now is what has made us the way we are. I like that thought

    • I actually did push him into the river, and stood there watching as people fished him out! In my defense it was unexpected and I reacted instinctively. No, I dont think I would have married him, but who knows eh? And yes, the people who truly matter are there with me (my kids) and we care for each other, I would not trade them for a million lives lived again

  6. I think it would be fun to have coffee with you one day (although I know it isn’t likely). You seem to be smashing company!!

    This was a great read. And, by the way, if you didn’t grow your hair long, perhaps you wouldn’t have liked your outfit? We all have sucky pictures. We have to stop doing that…

    •  @AmyMcMunnSchindler Oh I would love company for coffee.  Here, I am pouring myself a strong cup, with milk and sugar.  How do you like yours, love?
       
      And yes you have a point, if not the hair, it would have been my b00bs or the dress.  So lets forget those horrid pics of mine with long hair and enjoy the coffee.  Here, have a cookie

  7. Had to laugh because I have those pictures, too–and for the same reason. My frizzy blond hair looks much better kept at about 3 or 4 inches, but I SO wanted that pageboy. And the exercise… Should have started right after my kids were born. Now I’d be happy to weigh what I weighed right before they were born. That’s right–while I was still pregnant…

    •  @AngelaParsonMyers Yes the exercise.  You know what, I started exercising regularly a few months back, and now it has become a part of my routine.  It is so easy and makes me so happy, I wonder why I did not start it earlier.  I have lost oodles of weight, but that is not what keeps me at it.  It makes me feel happy and that is what keeps me at it

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