18 Again? No thank you

18 till I die sang Bryan Adams and rocked the charts. He seemed to have touched a chord in the human soul

Oh to be young (preferably 18) , thin, rich, happy, forever in love, yada yada yada

Honestly I was not happy when I was young. I was a mass of insecurities. I wanted to be tall, curvy, have straight hair and the huge eyes most Indian women have. That is when I was in the mode of “I like having been born a girl.”

Mostly I hated being a girl. I wanted to be a boy, wear comfortable clothes or potter around the house wearing boxers and a vest. And have no curfew. Be able to brawl with other boys and curse, “Saala bhenchod!” without having the entire moral police descend heavily down on me, shocked.

I mean bhenchod is bhenchod, whether a girl says it or a boy. The meaning does not change does it? So why, someone please explain, why did they think it was earth shattering when I said so, and if my brothers did, no one turned a hair!

I was one unhappy girl …

18 is over rated, and so is being a virgin. Mercifully I grew older, and learnt to mind my tongue. And then I learnt that my virginity was precious and I was someone’s “amaanat.” What The Fuck? So in the spirit of ‘I don’t accept such freaking drivel and will not allow myself to fall into this mould’ I proceeded to take things in my own hands. I lost my virginity as soon as I decently could, and married a person I wanted to, I turned 18 much later. I never regretted either of those two things. Life is too short for regrets.

I thought I was happy.

I was mistaken.

‘Happy’ comes when one is comfortable in one’s own skin. That does not happen when you are young, especially 18; the skin is too new and uncomfortable. One is too insecure.

Mind you, I grew up in the Doordarshan days when ads about pimples, dandruff, weight loss, fairness facial and vaginal did not exist. Being young is being unhappy and insecure without our commercial ad makers to worsen things.

But now they rule the roost.

This ad made me laugh so hard that I almost choked …

It is pure drivel. Honestly if you want a tight vagina, do yoga. Its better and its free! And virginity is over rated. In these days when we have effective birth control, and can lead our lives the way we chose, why do we still get enamoured by such outdated concepts? Virginity … it does not even work in Bollywood movies any more.

But then it occurred to me that some young insecure kid may be watching it. Not a happy thought.

Edited to add tweets recieved from the manufacturer

@Phoenixr2 It is a complete vaginal heath solution, something that most women ignore. Do consider these benefits of the product 🙂

@Phoenixr2 like healing internal wounds, preventing vaginal infections, Promoting attractive odour and encouraging natural lubrication.

I requested more details and was sent this tweet

@Phoenixr2 Sure. Almost all benefits are mentioned here 18again.com/faq.php. Feel free to ping us for any other details.


20 thoughts on “18 Again? No thank you

  1. you have got to be Kidding me!!!
    I mean considering that we are often doubted to be backward and you know..too much into keeping our “private” parts as naturally beautified and maintained as possible..It comes as a shock that the West has these things made available much before than in India..

  2. dear god in heaven ! whatever will they come up with next !
    These things are just fuelling insecurities aren’t they ! I miss the doordarshan era when our levels of confidence was not judged by the state of our hair and the colour of our skin (and armpits!)

  3. Ritu, I went through 18 and beyond feeling pretty much the same as you did.

    “18 Again” indeed. What bollocks (forgive my language). I did not know what this product was and hit Google – only to be quite annoyed that there are things like vaginal sticks and drops and what nots to…er….tighten the vagina? I am disgusted. I am thinking, the cost of that stupid cream could cover four meals for the one hundred children in my local orphanage, which I support. Gross.

    One might think they would worry more about women’s health – considering how women usually neglect their health. So many can barely afford a visit even to the government hospitals.

    Sigh. What is the world coming to?

    Glad you wrote this post.

  4. 18 was just not a very happy time for me either…so much confusion and I will still trying to grasp who I was.
    That Ad really blew my mind…ridiculous is all I can say..loved your post.

  5. The end of the world is near. These are all the signs. We are just pissing off God with our stupidity and he will very soon hurl a huge rock towards mother Earth.

  6. OMG…what an ad!! ugh….loved you for the post…hugs..18 is a meaning less age. You know NOTHING then…For me, I felt I knew what I wanted after 10 yrs of marriage and when I crossed 30.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s