My Victory Dance

Well I tried, and I tried and tried to be a saint, to not dance a victory dance over the ashes of painful memories

Naah Forget It!

This is my victory dance, and I am dancing it.

And if I step on toes, break a few bones, draw some blood, it does not matter. I have to have my dance.

I HAVE SURVIVED

To the person who told me that my sons would grow up to be losers, since they did not have a Dad –

You misjudged me and you misjudged my boys. I never said that your kids would not amount to much – but they have NOT! Why? They had a mom and dad! They should have been like Sachin Tendulkar or Shah Rukh Khan, since they did not have a broken home.

I did not tell you to STFU then, but you made me cry. You made me sit up nights staring at the boyish figures asleep in bed and wonder if what you said was right. To be afraid that may be what you said would come true.

Humph!

To the person who said “Ek din muh chupa kar royegi, koi aansu ponchne wala bhi nahin hoga” just because I listened to the boys and believed in their dreams instead of being negative about them. I am laughing, I am smiling, I am living with them in their dreams. And of the dreams that did not succeed – well we lived them too. I have not hidden my face and wept, I have never needed to.

Any crying and full on drama that happens at the Phoenix House happens openly. Oh we have wars – but no heartaches. Even at the peak of temper we know we love each other and belong to the same family.

To the person who thought I give my sons too much bhav and they would grow up spoilt and pampered. That these boys I adore would use me and throw me. Hey they are my sons, and they love me as much as I love them, so fuck you.

And to the various suitors/prospective husbands who thought, rather expected that I should

a) Give them my complete salary
b) Bring up their kids
c) Send my boys to hostels because their kids came first
d) Look after their parents and leave mine

All for the dubious advantage of having a husband – what for, I don’t know

Look me in the face and answer the question

Did you really think I was dumb?

And

Who’s the WO – MAN eh?

This victory dance is because now both my sons have graduated, got good degrees and have reached adulthood without being delinquents, commitment phobic men, drug addicts or alcoholics INSPITE OF ALL THE FUCKINGLY CREEPY PREDICTIONS MY SO CALLED FRIENDS AND WELL WISHERS DISHED OUT

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32 thoughts on “My Victory Dance

  1. Congrats Ritu. So happy for you. I feel that people are jealous and that is why they say such rotten things. It is always important to believe in yourself no matter what the world says cause the world will always try to pull you down.

    • It is not really jealousy, it is an unhealthy competitive spirit, you know. One person loving the opportunity to show another down

  2. I am going to hug you tight and tell you exactly how Awesome you are Aunty! You truly inspire me for the strength and determination, sensitivity and vulnerability and yet this empowering perspective towards life.. You stand for these ideals and I respect u a lot for that!!

    Isi baat pe kuch shaandaar ho jaaye? Hehe
    Mwahh!!! Loadsa love!

  3. Super super delighted for you – Oh what a sweet victory this is and so well deserved !
    Congratulations to Kid 2 .. such a lovely boy he is and hunn ta enginer bhi ban gaya.. waddi saari vadhayian !

  4. Ritu…at my age, I can only aspire to be able to say the same thing about my choices 20 years later. You’re someone I’ve always admired through your blog and today, my respect for you has only gone up several notches because of your little victory dance! 😀

    • Of course your choices are right, for you. That is the important thing, the rest is just background noise. Dont let others get to you when you are taking major decisions. That is the imp thing.

  5. Talk about a dance party for single mothers uh!? Not to mention for the rest of us too. the more we see, the more it is clear that you’ve raised some Awesome Men and considering that you’re dancing right now, we’re coming over to join the party :p :p.

    • Oh yes! We can have a dance party – not just for single mothers, for all mothers We need to celebrate our children, they give us joy and make us proud

  6. Hi-5!!!!
    Kudos to you for showing it to the world! Congrats to the kid, for he is an engineer now 🙂

    I was sad and depressed, when I opened the link to the victory dance here. I know I am going to rock it too! So, what we are different. Hell we are different , we will not be a doormat to be used and thrown away!

    It takes lots of courage to prove it to the world. I am really proud of you, for you might have been doing it, again and again since a long time now, as these sons of bi***** don’t understand it so easily. You rock! 🙂

    • Yes, kudos to him! Everyone is unique, unfortunately we hide our uniqueness and follow the herd. That I feel is bad. My biggest fear is living a life which is not mine, fulfilling dreams that are not mine.

  7. A big applaud to you for this…totally happy you and your sons. I could relate similarly about my mom…she got the same for backing us up girls. We both married the guys family chose, but all who pointed fingers, their kids either ran away or had intercaste, intercultural love marriages…btw, I am not getting notifications of your posts…I thought I subscribed…can you pls tell me how to get them?

    • Latha, I have a widget on the top of my blog for you to enter your mail id. It will send you notifications. I don’t care about interracial or intercultural marriages. For me a good human being, educated and responsible is the main thing. My children have no major vices and are caring affectionate individuals. And they have good qualifications, and that makes me one very proud Mama

  8. Congratulations to all of you! I am sad that people chose to criticize and discourage you when you perhaps needed support the most, but I guess the least amount of time should be wasted on such considerations really!!! Hope you had a fantastic celebration!!

    • Hic Hic Hurray One pilot cum author, one Mechanical Engineer, I showed ya all, my critics! This is one proud Mama! Glad you joined me Meenakshy! Lets dance

  9. That is awesome!! So happy for you. That story reminded me of my late mom. After my dad passed away and we were still in school/college, various relatives told my mom, we would be worthless losers et al..and now that the money maker (my dad ) had passed, we would come down to earth and beg for food. So cruel and it made my school drop out mom more determined than ever. 8 year later as I was graduating out of engineering in the US, and already working, I told my mom, I was too busy working and had no time to attend graduation. My sister called me since she had alredy graduated from a world renowed university 5 years ago and working…”Its not for you little sis, its for her”..When she died…I found my graduation picture, blown up and on her wall alongside my sisters and my brothers. Truly her achievement. I am glad I walked.More power to you. And you have raised your boys to be men, thats more than what most people can say.

    • You must be so proud of your Ma. I am very proud of my sons, and I love the fact that they have the confidence to live life on their own terms.

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