Doctors, Hospitals and My New Year Eve

And yes this post is simply to cater to my Drama Queen soul, since I spent my new year eve in hospital.

Yeah, I need serious sympathy here.  You all are allowed to have any of these responses.

1. Gasp, OMG Ritu, hope you are well

2. You poor thing

3. You are such a brave person.

And if you join my two sons and DIL in scolding me, blaming me for taking my health for granted and any such response, we will have issues.  I may even go to the extent of not speaking to you any more.

I kid you not, I have been scolded, I have been threatened with dire consequences ad nauseum.  My diet is being monitored.  Entirely unnecessary I assure you.  I am shocked, chastened and entirely scared.

I had some kind of a heart problem.  And I thought it was gas.  I never knew that gas and acidity are signs of an impending heart attack.  Well one lives and learns …

And I got some awesome free ka gyan – on new year eve

1. Heart problem???? Women don’t get it

(Oh yeah? tell my ticker that!  Hello heart, you are female, please realize it and stop acting up.  By the way, isn’t this such a sexist comment?)

2. Doctors lie you know.  How do you know its your ECG report in your file?

(Errr do you love watching conspiracy theory movies?  I love the thought that someone else’s ECG will have a place of honour in my medical files.)

And then my visits to hospitals come with their own highs and lows …

I tell you they are EVENTS!

On 29th  night I had rajmah rice and had a spell of acidity.  I dismissed it because well – if you have beans in the night you deserve it.

The next day I went to work after popping a lot of antacid.  It worsened to the extent that on 31st Kid#2 pronounced that I looked like shit and I needed a doctor.

People who know me will not need to read any more.

I have this perfectly firm belief that I am invincible and I never need a doctor.

EVER

So I was bullied, scolded, cajoled and convinced that we were going to the G.P. in the neighbourhood.   Him I can handle.  So I got into the car – and got driven to the hospital.  Kid#2 and I got into a fight.  Especially when we were told the OPD did not function on Sundays and I was to be taken to the emergency.

I cheered up somewhat when I saw the Costa Coffee outlet.  I thought that once we met the doctor, we would get a coffee at Costa and then drive back.  It was new year eve and I looked forward to wearing my cute new dress.

Bas itna sa khwaab …

Of course it did not work out like I planned …

Doctor said ECG

I said no, I want something for acidity

Doctor pulled rank

I dug heels

Suddenly we had two nurses and 3 doctors around me.

Outnumbered, I shut up and submitted for the ECG

Result … I had an impending heart attack and needed an angiogram.

Pouf!  Rebellion vanished.  The son heaved a sigh of relief and signed a bunch of papers for my angiogram.  I looked at him reproachfully, saw the concern in his eyes and suffered pangs of conscience.  He is a good man!  And I am a brat.

So I got wheeled into the angio theatre.

Ever seen Sci Fi movies?  Swear that room was out of one of those sets.  We had this huge machine with humongous pipes branching out of it.  Some of those pipes ended up in monitors that actually wore surgical masks.  And someone gave a command at the machine.

Them monitors dipped, turned and approached me from various different angles.

Surreal …

My ticker quailed.

That was not enough.  They shaved me and then stuck a needle right erm in that neighbourhood.  Not pleasant.  Then some ink was stuck into me through the needle.  The doctor – a chatty pleasant person – set up a running commentary as she explained what she could see.

She and I were watching the same monitor … but she saw a heart

I saw an octopus

She told me my main arteries were clear.

So I did not tell her that what we were looking at was an octopus, not a heart. Why spoil a good thing?

She told me that some stupid capillary in some distant branch was acting up.  It was completely blocked and they would try to clear it with blood thinners.

I perked up.  I was going to get that Costa Coffee …

NOT!

I must place on record here that I never got it!

What I got was 24 hours in CCU, 24 more hours in a hospital bed and then was sent home

Cest La Vie …

I spent new year eve in CCU 😦

By ten in the night I told kiddo “You go and get drunk or whatever!  I’m going to sleep.”

I mean I was rigged up with drips and monitors that beeped and pinged and such like.  I wasn’t going any where, so someone needed to have fun.  I mean it was new year eve for heaven’s sake!  So why deprive him?

He resisted the urge ( I love him for that ) but eventually gave in, after leaving his number with every nurse in the ward and even scribbling it on a post it and putting it on my bed.

I slept.

The next day I got shifted to a room.  Ahhh bliss (or so I thought!)

Minor hiccup no. 1 : No Times Now.  Such a huge hospital and they dont subscribe to Times Now !!!!! Blasphemy

Minor hiccup no. 2 : Hospital Food

Minor hiccup no. 3 was discovered in the night

I was on a drip and it did unpleasant things to my bladder.  And the nurse would not remove the drip.

I had to get my pajamas changed since I could not control it.

I begged and pleaded but nurses are nurses.  They listen to doctors and not patients.  So it was either live with a leaky bladder or take matters in my own hands

I had a bottle of Aquafina on my bedside.  Every ten minutes I spilled water on the bed and the pajamas and called her.

I kid you not, I kept a close watch on the wall clock.  After every ten minutes I spilled some water and called her.

Finally she removed the drip.  Phew

I had a good night’s sleep.

The next day I got the news that the blood thinners worked and I could go home.

So now I can proudly say that this hospital visit is almost as eventful as the last one, you can read about that one here 

 

 

 

 

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47 thoughts on “Doctors, Hospitals and My New Year Eve

  1. Only you can write a post like this, my warrior queen! My question is: I always thought that your heart was always on loan to some hunk. How did you manage to keep it just before New Year’s eve? Well, . . .

    Glad that you are finally home and well.

    Big hugs and lots of love.

    Joy always,
    Susan

    • Dil ka maamla toh is an ongoing process. See main arteries are clear. Yeh jo small time players hain, they create problems. And I am glad to be back home Phew!

  2. Umm..Now, I want to… err…you said, you will stop talking if we daant you right? what do I do? Glad that it was identified before danger crept in…happy that you are back home and safe..I am literally visualising how you spilled water every 10 mins..:) And how can you write a post after all this? is there any other reason why I shouldn’t admire you? pls do take care…lots of hugs and best wishes..

    • Yes I was really really lucky. I cant believe at the lucky escape I have just had. My guardian angel is to be complimented and also my younger son, who took me to the hospital regardless of all the drama I created.

      The Aquafina on bed and pajamas was a stroke of genius. I am so proud of it 😛

  3. What is wrong with people of your generation? Why do all of you (and that includes my parents and my mother-in-law) think that you are invincible? That a disease cannot touch you? Believe me, I’ve had it up to here catering to this child like behaviour. It is not pleasant. All of you really have to grow up and take life seriously!
    Sorry for the rant. 😦
    p.s. the post was funny but I know what your children would have gone through.

    • Amit, I think you just had my kids thanking you completely. On a serious note, it is our way of coping with aging I guess

  4. I dunno, I want to say a couple of things, but I know how one feels in such a situation and people come and talk about it.. it feels like they are rubbing it in your face.. You tell them that yes, you understand now, but no they must still give gyaan..

    I know…

    So main chup rahunga…

    Anyway, lifestyle changes in line now? major ones are a pain..

    Your description of things is as always, vivid.. It is enjoyable to read stuff..

    however I can’t help but feel a little bit of pity for the nurse..

    Also, did you miss times now, or arnab goswami?

    • Giving up addictions is a pain, smokes are dearly missed. Food … well that is not such a hardship, those cravings havent yet come up. I missed Arnab, he is a show stopper

  5. I can’t believe this! You had a close call and you’re laughing about it. I do love you Ritu Lalit. I must remember this when I’m close to sniveling. Sending you a big big hug!

    • Hugs right back at ya! Sniveling doesn’t get anything done. So may as well laugh. Life in any case is a temporary condition ….

  6. Hopefully you had wifi and your various devices in the hospital and some of the doctors were young and cute:) that helps as I learnt on my last visit 🙂 Big hug and sending you my best for 2013.

    • I had wifi in the room, which made things bearable. Sigh!!! No cute doctors 😦
      2012 is done and gone! From this point 2013 can only go onwards and upwards 😀

  7. you better hope the doctor or nurse does not read your blog!! LOL!!! Only you can make such a scary situation such a humorous one!!! Love it and so very glad that you are okay!

    • What a thought. Imagine going for a cardio check up and having the doctor tell me what she thought of my blog about the hospital visit 😉 Believe me I am really happy to be back in my room and my bed!

  8. Ritu, its only you who can go through such a stressful situation and then laugh about it 😛 Pouring water every ten minutes !! Damn you make even my hospital escapades sound tame compared to this 😛 I can understand being a brat coz I usually am a brat when I am sick but really I side with Kid 1 and 2 here 😛 So glad to have you back 😛

    • Yeah, the water stunt I am proud of 😛 😛

      Kid#1 has already threatened me with dire consequences when we meet next.

      And I am behaving, I really am

    • Hospitals need to lighten up a bit! Ominous places. I am planning to put that surreal scene from the angio lab into a novel. It was something!

  9. 1. OH NO .. (that was the Gasp) Hope you are well now

    2. you poor thing

    3. WOw You are super Brave ..

    there you go DONE..

    yes you are a brat .. shud listen to , Oh I rememebr that lecture I got from you when my mum was in trouble and i was looking around .. Yaad aya aapko 🙂

  10. First I was but scared to read this . Thanks for making this post and my heart light
    Please take good after care and have planned diet and follow doctors instructions like bible . No m not preaching just saying out of concern as I saw all this once

  11. Ab mein kya balun? I want to laugh hysterically but that would be so rude…after all heart trouble is heart trouble and nothing to snigger at!
    But, I am very glad that you are better! Which means 2013 for you has already taken a flying start!
    Loved the essay 🙂

    • Arrey laugh away. My tormenting the nurses has me in splits and I had the heart scare 😛

      BTW do you realize that all cardio thingys are sexist? The first thing ppl say is “Women dont get heart problems!”

  12. That is certainly one way to write about it…. and i can’t imagine how that must have been. Scary I think..

    Anyhow.. this is one new year (eve) you are not going to be forgetting anytime soon!

    • Agreed on both counts. It was scary. And this new year eve is unforgettable. And I never ever want to repeat the experience

  13. when i saw ur ‘not well’ post on FB didnt realise it was this bad… am so glad your kid #2 won and u went to the hospital. reminds me of a few days back when i had this terrible feeling of weight/tightness in the chest and M(hubby) asked me to get an ECG taken immediately. and i just laughed it off….
    If ever i have 2 get admitted to a hospital in future(been in and out of OT quite a few times but am still scared of it)…will remember you and definitely SMILE
    🙂 🙂 🙂 TC dear Ritu

    • Go and get an ECG done, like the doctor told me, there is no harm in ruling out bad possibilities or nipping a problem in the bud

  14. God bless your spirit !!!!! 😀

    That aquafina thing !!!! Too too too good ! 😀 😀 😀 😀 Thats how you make them turn your way ! 😀 😀 😀

    Hugssssssssssssss… Its glad to see you are well now ! 😀
    Whats even better is nothing can hamper your spirit 😀

  15. you are officially old now.
    on the positive side,you can milk this for as long as you want(read emotional atyachar0
    but take care dear.

    • Oh I’ve played the senior citizen card quite shamelessly since I hit 40. Being old is great if you do it properly,
      1. If you want to avoid doing something, simply blame it on forgetfulness
      2. Things you dont want to hear, blame deafness
      3. Go to sleep when people bore you

      I’ll add more to the list as and when I discover more

  16. Gosh Moms and invincible attitude….my mom gets a lot from me nowadays for refusing to take care…sigh

    But seriously now is time to start taking care. For your kids man 🙂

    And you are one bad patient like me…its impossible to manage me when sick 😛

    • Yes I am taking care of myself … this episode has made me feel my mortality. I am a bad patient, agreed. But I will take care, if only to not see the insides of an hospital again!

  17. I’m glad you were seen to before major damage occurred! Hats off to your son for dragging you to the hospital! And I agree, there are few situations in life that cannot be laughed about. Take care, be good, and always, always, always remain your invincible self! Many hugs.

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