Oh I simply love the songs of Lion King, remember Circle of Life? Can anyone who has seen the movie ever forget Simba’s huge eyes as he takes in the world, along with the background score by Elton John?
Sigh …. It reduces me to mush!
Cut to the present. Circle of Life in the Phoenix Household … Well it turns everyone into anything but mush.
However nice and sweet the parent (autocrat) is, just the parental role has the dumb and hapless subjects (children) … well you can call them prisoners/minions and whatever else you may want to name them, chaffing against authority. Just being parent, you tread on their corns.
I was anything but the nice and sweet parent. I am bossy, snooty and anything but reasonable, unless I get my way. So there! Boys, I do admit it, but if you rub it in, I’ll screw your happiness. I still hold some aces, remember that!
The first thing one got as a New Year gift this year was Accu Check. For the healthy young readers (Oh how I envy you) it is a home diabetes test kit. One has to puncture a finger, and put a drop of blood on the test strip and it crunches out a number for you. That all important number tells you how many sins you can commit with impunity in your diet for the day.
Day 3 of returning home from the hospital. (Kid#1 is in Dubai.) (Kid#2 is sitting on the bed watching me trying to puncture myself.) I suffer no martyr complexes; I do not like injuring myself – even if the cause is as noble as my own health.
Kid#2 : Let me do it
Me : You don’t need to test your damn blood.
Kid#2 : What? Why should I?
Me : (Surprised) Exactly. So why do you want to do it?
Kid#2 : (Rolls eyes) To you.
Ah, okay. I hand him the darn kit and show him the finger.
Kid#2 : Stop being rude!
He punctures me and smears a whole lot of blood on the strip. The machine goes ballistic and crunches out Er: 6 or some such thing.
Kid#2 : Oops we have to do it again.
Me : (Naively) Okay
It was four more stabs to three more fingers later that I realized I was victim here. The old parent was being subjected to torture. He was using the damn kit to settle some scores! Damn, I should have learnt my lesson after he took my damn blackberry away two summers earlier! Circle of Life
Kid#2 : What’s for dinner?
Me : I think I should avoid dinner. Some soup would be great.
Kid#1 : Minchow? We have Minchow soup.
Me : Ah I love Minchow. Its tangy.
Kid#2 : Ma can’t have it.
He mutters something suspiciously like “Because you like it,” as he flees the room. Yeah yeah, I guess I must have stopped you from gorging on too much cake or eating chocolate before bed sometime in the past. Circle of Life.
CASE 3 (Yesterday)
Kid#1 : There is nothing tasty to eat at home.
Me : So go out, get something good and don’t bring it home. It is too tempting.
Kid#1 : (Ignoring that) I am going to bake something.
Me : (Keeping quiet. If I protest, it will aggravate him to the extent of dishing out a five course meal which I can’t eat.) Mmm, Hmmm
I switch on Anthony Borden. If I have to suffer, I may as well suffer well. I try to ignore the sound of batter being mixed, the oven pinging, though the smell of chocolate brownie baking reduces me to a puddle of drool on the floor.
Kid#1 : I love the smell of baking that fills up the house
Me : (wishing that the Crucio curse could be inflicted on people in the muggle world.) Don’t you think the brownie is burning?
(It wasn’t, but I HAD to give back some …
I got a miniscule portion of the cake, which was promptly taken to their rooms in the first floor. I was left on the ground floor inhaling the smell of freshly baked brownie.
Circle of Life