I started writing this post when I was completely lethally bored. My kids are out of town …. the @#$&% did not ring me up even once to inform me that they had reached safely Humph! My boss aka Mogambo is so busy, he has completely forgotten the existence of one lonely number cruncher in the corner cabin (Man! I sound as though I actually miss being given work – I really need to get myself a life!!!)
Out of sheer desperation and boredom I googled BORED and I got a list of questions – insane ones on this site. Thank you internet, if it wasnt for you I would have remarried and knowing my totally suicidal taste for unsuitable but charming rogues, I would have been miserable.
Am spending the rest of the afternoon trying to answer the questions – and what do you know, being paid for it 😀
My answers are in italics. If you are bored and wondering what to do – you can try attempt them.
Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them?
Ummm, I dont think so ….
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Hahaha, The French would commit suicide first!
Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
I dont know – I never wait, simply go for the kill
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
No shit – cracked termite infested door – any body? Lets make a crank call and get it replaced
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
I dont think so – what do you say?
“Cute as a button” Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
You know those baby blue butterfly shaped ones … or pink glittery ones??? Ahh I give up!
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
What are you trying to do, make me faint?
Are marbles made of marble?
Nah! Glass ( I think)
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
I dont know – some obscure rule of Physics I guess
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
In the interest of fairness, one should!
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
Not me dammit, that was one hell of a kinky person!
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there … I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?
See the answer above
Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
The dharmik mafia will kill me if I answer that
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
You tell me!!
Can you get cornered in a round room?
I guess one gets rounded in a round room – shit I’m getting confused here
Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
Why don’t the hairs on your arms get split ends?
Oh wow! Kitne velley hain hum
In that song, she’ll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
Take your pick – Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruize, Katrina Kaif …….
Wouldn’t it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
We would eat the envelopes and never post them!
Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
This one is profound
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
You know something, this has always bugged me!
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
This is one question I never thought of asking!
Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?
There are so many more over there – but I am not bored any more – so back to work for me!