Motherly Rant

My kids are adults, or so would they like to believe. I seriously wonder. Consider this, at the first sign of cranky or irrational behavior on my part, the boys react the way adolescents react globally, with the eye-roll. This is then followed by : You don’t even have a uterus, how can you be pms-ing. Then the martyred expression, the deep sigh and they scatter, I mean, one minute they are here, the next they have vanished pouf! Back to their playstations, manga and their vampires and what not.

I tend to see red when I get the bills,

Or wake up in the morning to find a huge stash of empty beer bottles on the dining table and two young men on their way to bed when I am ready for breakfast!

Or walk into the house after a full day’s work to find them lazily wandering, towel in hand, for a bath, loo-wards.

What’s with you guys and your body clocks? Why can’t you sleep, eat and be awake when the rest of the world does? And, if you want to keep these hours just move to a different time zone people!!!

I know for sure I would have a better audience for my rants if I had huge canines and liked to drink blood for a living. Or if I traveled warp speed, came to earth and killed earthlings for a career. Hah! That would freak them eh?

DIL I feel for you! Really do. If Kid#1 were my husband, he would have been dead meat! Less said about Kid#2, the better.

Their way of retaliating is by saying, Ma is crazy …. All women at menopausal and post menopausal ages are insane, only in Ma the insanity is aggravated and more pronounced. The latest is that Ma is bi-polar or maybe senile. I am seriously considering cutting of food rations and car privileges….. may be even their respiratory organs.

Sigh, those were good old days. You stood your full height, invoked few guaranteed to trigger guilt phrases : I am your mother, I carried you for nine months, paid your bills, you OWE me biggg time! Nothing works now. I think I should start writing my will, or carry print outs of what the law says about disinheriting your children and leave them at strategic places. That may work!

And don’t for Godssake say “She’s menopausing.” I don’t have the apparatus for that, remember my hysterectomy?

And don’t make the mistake of thinking of me as a wee matronly harmless woman.

I am all powerful, I have a blog 😆 😈

And if you think I am insane, just check out the quotation right below :

“Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.” Sam Levenson

HALLA BOL