Various stages of Cleaning Fever

I personally do not know why I get the cleaning bug from time to time.  In my opinion it is very inconvenient, that is, to say the least.  When it hits any one it follows one single course – it gets the poor deluded victim to climb up nooks and crannies, discard a whole lot to stuff that was sitting quietly and minding its own business and such an infection only leaves the victim sweaty, with aching muscles and a pain in the back.

Sigh – cleaning!!

Its various stages … as per my experience are listed below.  Readers can add, embellish etc etc.

1. The pre-incubus stage is brought about by A Sense of Competition

Beware!  If you are feeling that Mrs.XYZ’s home is spotlessly clean, just pause and reflect.  The lady perhaps has nothing much to do in life.  Imagine serving you tea with neatly starched cloth napkins.  Humph!  She probably even keeps tea and coffee in their respective containers.  Possibly she never heard of the creative beauty of keeping tea leaves in the sugar pot and coffee in the container marked tea. Organized is so unimaginative 😦

Unfriend her on FaceBook

Delete her number from your cellphone

Sigh, no use ….  She has infected you, my friend.  You are suffering from the dreaded Cleaning Fever.

Now you may ask, what is the next thing to expect?

2. Delusion, the second stage

Sadly, now you are infected.  You look at them drawers, cupboards and nooks and crannies.  You laugh bravely, roll up your sleeves and declare : “Oh this is nothing.  I’ll get it done within a couple of hours.  You put on some great music like this one

You even sing along and get on with it.  You get one crockery drawer done, and the next . You think to yourself “I’m doing good!”

3. Devastation

Yes, that is what comes next! In your enthusiasm you have emptied the whole damn wardrobe. Ambition has bitten you and you have possibly even upturned the toy cabinet. Your home looks like a wreck and you weep a few tears wondering “How will I ever get this done?” Then you say “Don’t cry” and bawl! After that you pick up letters circa 1971 and wonder why you are such a hoarder and why did you even keep two mismatched orange socks! Then you take a deep breath and say “Don’t panic”

And then in a split second YOU PANIC!!!

Never mind, you have to let the infection run its full course. Take a deep breath, its going to get better not worse.

4. Procrastination

You settle down on the floor or bed, decide to have a cup of tea or something cold. You need it since you’ve been crying/raging/hyperventilating. Then you realize you are hungry and need a bite to eat. May be the dog needs a walk or the baby needs a change or whatever. You switch on the television to distract yourself and calm your nerves. The good news is the infection is subsiding. The bad news is that the home is in a mess. This naturally leads to the fifth stage.

5. Guilt

You look at the clock, four hours are passed since the stage of delusion. Only one wardrobe done. So you blame yourself, kick yourself in the butt, hyperventilate some more, sob some more and get on with it. You also bad mouth children, partner, husband, maid and throw the circa 1971 letters in the dust bin.

It is evening now, you are aching all over, sweaty and badly need some TLC. This is when the final stage hits you

6. Jugaad or Resourcefulness

The shelves are clean, things to be discarded have been thrown. Now you start stuffing everything willy nilly back into the cupboards. After all, what are they for, but to store and hide the mess? You kick some toys under the bed, arrange all visible things neatly and go for a long and relaxing shower.

Congratulations, you have just recovered from a major attack of the dreaded Cleaning Fever.

Yes, you may shine your halo, arrange it on your head, pour yourself a stiff drink and order a pizza. After all the Cleaning Fever leaves the victim weak and tired. One good thing though, you will get a great night’s sleep!

All images, courtesy google