Some faltu ka melodrama

You know the classic melodramatic dialogue one came upon in our Hindi cinema …. during the sixties and seventies

Hai Rabba/Hey Prabhu (pause for effect) isko dekhne se pehley meri aankehn band kyon nahin huien

Or the other alternative

Hey Ram, mujhey is ko dekhne se pehley kyun nahin utha liya

Here is a list of things that would make me say that

1. Amitabh Bacchan as Genie in Aladin

Why dudes, why???  The fake beard is horrible!   I love to believe in myths and this movie seriously makes it difficult to.  It is such a conviction-less, horrible insipid movie.  Abhi toh summer vacation bhi nahin hai …….

2. Rakhi Sawant in any avataar

I dont care if its her swayamvar or she is baby sitting some cranky little tyke.  This female is toxic, and I dont wanna see her.  Did you see the sleazy photos verging on soft porn of her’s (of course she will say look alike) doing the rounds?

3. Yet another tirade by Behn Mayawati

Not interested, dont care …. Next please

4. Yet another interview of Lalooji

Get someone else, dudes.  Even India TV is showing some innovativeness now.  The lines are old and so is the guy now …..

5. Another doomsday prediction about 2012

We’ll die when we have to, or when the dharti maata splits into two and takes us into her bosom.  Why freak un-necessarily?  While on the topic, will someone loan me a crore or two, to be returned in 2014 if the earth is still spinning on its axis 😛

6. Yet another swine flu statistics

They’ve started boring me to death – without even giving me the swine flu

7. Another Munna Bhai kind of act by Sunjay Dutt

Enough already.  It was a hit, we enjoyed it …. Now you dont look hunky but chunky.  Lets give it a rest for a while shall we?

8. Another young skinny boy wearing his jeans low

Dont wanna see butt cracks.  Never wanted to and thankfully the fashion has come and gone.  Update your skinny pimply self please

9.  Priety Zinta playing item girl

Seriously lady, this is not happening!  Dont tell me you’re out of work!

10. Yet another lame ass colleague telling me how sasta things were about five years ago

I know, I know.  It pinches me too.  Dont rub it in please.  Ask boss to give us all a raise.  Do something about it.  You’ll be doing all of us a favor and will go to heaven instead of dharti mata ki godh mein in 2012

11. And lastly people who bitch about young people these days … you know the standard “Kya Zamana Aa Gaya Hai”

If I hear one more word about it, Gosh, I’m coming to your side of the town/road/parking lot ….. in my car, and I’m an awful driver, so be warned!  Times have to change and the change in youth morals is the life blood of all gossip sessions.  Agar yeh log kartab nahin karengey, where will we get our entertainment from?